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Monday, January 15, 2007

Reversal; Evil Is Still In Me

We are all susceptible to wanting to believe in magic, particularly when circumstances seem hopeless without it. Sometimes, we are aware that we are counting on a magical solution. At other times, we are not--this can be the case when the clinician succumbs to the use of "psychopharmacological magic."

I was pushed to the limit. I was so angry. It's the first in like many many years, probably 6 years, that I am so so angry.

Magic is defined in Webster's dictionary as the "art that purports to control events in nature through the use of charms, spells, rituals or potions." In clinical psychopharmacology, the parallel to the sorcerer's potions are the complicated admixtures of different mood stabilizers, antipsychotics, antidepressants, and anxiolytics that clinicians sometimes resort to when treating patients.

These "cocktails" are generally based on no systematic data of safety or efficacy but instead arise out of the clinician's belief or hope that a medication regimen must exist that will produce the desired clinical response in the patient and that the best way to find it is simply to add medications until the desired response occurs.

Anyway, I'm way too side-track from the main topic.

A few, most of them my close friends, know that I was once a magick user; a true believer of magick. Yes, most of you would say, "What the fuck?"

The taste of power was so good that I then started to misused them which led to punishment which has lead to the reversal of my magical ability.

For many years, it has been dormant. Now, it's been unleashed. How can I keep it in control before things get out of hand?

Magick. The concept of the supernatural, the presence of a divine force. Power. Magick has always been close to the center of many questions humankind has confronted over the course of history.

Although the concept of magick has been largely dismissed by our current, western culture, there are obvious threads of these old beliefs still running through many areas of our lives.

So many of our modern religious roots and "silly" superstitions hearken back to days when there were very real and deeply-held perceptions about the "forces" of good and evil, the roles they played in our daily lives, and, most importantly, our seeming lack of control over them.

Ranging from the belief in the ancient gods and goddesses of Mt. Olympus, to the simple practices of protection spells or hexes in literally hundreds of different cultures all over the world, humans have a broad range of richly varied beliefs in supernatural power.

Today, modern science has provided explanations to many of our past notions about magick and the supernatural. However, I think that while many of us will publicly "poo-poo" the idea of magic, we secretly desire it to remain a part of our life.

As a whole, I think humans find comfort in the fact that there just may be powers we can (possibly) harness to change or maintain certain areas of our lives. Magic fuels our hopes during the darkest times of our lives, and provides us with a common dialect for the human condition.

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