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Monday, July 26, 2004

Weird Question...



I was filling in my pre-NS documentation online. Once I was done, my parents had to sign the documents but before they do.



They asked me several questions,



"Do you smoke?"



I replied a 'NO'



"Then what is homosexual?" asked my mum.



"Huh?



"There in the document got put... if you are homosexual, please tick."



I had a hard time answering that because my parents were those reserve kind of people.



"Er, how to explain ah.. er... ah...Homosexual is gay."



"Oh.."

Thursday, July 22, 2004

Cool Game! Try It Out!



Dark Throne. Earn money, build fottress, spy your enemy and create soldiers!

 

Try it out! Satisfaction guranteed!

 

http://www.darkthrone.com/recruit.dt?uid=V23520X23535Y23415A23460I23520



Wednesday, July 21, 2004

The Cranky Old Lady

 

I was listening to Avril Lavigne's songs, looking at the moving vehicles, and then glanced at the passengers sitting in front. I smiled. I shut my eyes and relaxed my mind. It was still another 15 minutes ride to my institute.

 

A few minutes had passed and suddenly I heard noises; a lady's voice, shouting. It could even penetrate through the loud music that I was listening to. I opened my eyes and saw an old lady sat next to me.

 

I paused the music that I was listening to and listened to what she was saying. Yeah I know, I'm such a busybody. Apparently, she was talking to herself.

 

I dare not look at her. In fact, I was petrified. She started slapping her thighs and talking in hokkien or probably scolding in hokkien. I was uncertain.

 

The next thing I knew was she pointed her finger right to my face. What the hell was she doing, I thought. Should I get up from my seat and moved to the ones in front or should I just stay put since it was only four more stops away from school?

 

I looked away from her and shut my eyes again but then there was an unbearable smell; garbage chute kinda smell.

 

The hideous smell was overpowering my senses especially my sense of smell. I was obviously choking. I was trying not to breath too hard. I scanned her thoroughly from head to toe without her noticing. 

Her shirt was tattered and torn as though she had never change her clothes before. Her skin was covered with red spots.

And then I realized where the smell was coming from. It could be her hair; it look so frizzy and dirty. I guessed she must have not washed her hair for months. Or probably the smell was coming from her mouth.

Each time she opened her mouth and talk, the smell grew stronger. At that point of time, I felt like puking and wished that I could cover my nose with my hands but I do not wish to let that old lady think that she was smelly.

It was rude so I just endured with the smell for another 5 minutes but I could stand no longer; I felt like puking instantly. I pretended to be yawning so that I could cover my mouth but the fact was I wanted so badly to not breathe in that horrendous smell.

But thank god, I was spared from that agony. That old lady really frightened me.



Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Slack...

 

Practically, nothing much was done at school yesterday and today. Lessons were boring and the lecturers were going too slow that we could absorbed all the informations 100%.

 

Yesterday, I went back home immediately after my lessons ended at 11 since I was still lethargic from fishing the day before and that I was still having a slight headache.

 

I watched Sisters today but initially I wanted to watch Ella Enchanted. However, I'd just realized that it was still not shown at cinemas yet. Bleah~ I will rate Sisters - 2.5/5.

 

Bad cinematography and sound effect. And they kept on using the same gothic song every ten minutes of the show. The ceilings were alittle unreal but however, they did a very good job at scaring the sh*t out of me when the ghost appeared.


The show however does have the same storyline as Ju-On: The Grudge and The Ring. Horror flicks nowadays are often too similar that we even thought the movie producers had to borrow the ghost from the same set each time.

While I was on my way back home, I saw...



Monday, July 19, 2004

Fishing And Burnt

Yesterday has to be one of the days that I had to wake up really early. While I'm writing this entry now, I'm lethargic and weak; probably lack of sleep and too much exposure out in the sun. I checked my temperature once in every two hours just to ensure that I am not down with a fever again since I just recovered.

It was of course one of my most memorable days; being able to spend the whole day with someone whom I truly love. It was by far the best day ever but I have to apologize to D for not being too enthusiastic with the whole trip since I was still a little unwell. I brought panadols along, just in case! =)

I stopped by at the hawker center near my place to buy 2 packets of nasi lemak and a few other tidbits as we will be at Punggol Beach for the whole day and there are no food/drink stalls at that place.

And the bad news is THERE are no toilets at Punggol Beach. So what happens if someone wants to pee or do big business, where do they go? Behind the bushes with the ants crawling to your legs and up to your anus or best still, centipedes nibbling and biting off your balls.

Actually, there is a toilet booth BUT...Yes there is still a BUT. The toilet booth belongs to the policemen guarding at the jetty. So people like us do not have the privilege of using that toilet booth.

Scenario...

D approached the policewoman and asked, "Ma`am, is that toilet booth available for use?

Policewoman walked toward D with confidence, arms swinging nastily by her side (like a gorilla) and looked at D. She scanned D from head to toe and raised her arms straight to D's face and shook her head.

'No! That toilet booth is only for us...' And gave D the arrogant look.

'A`huh...' D replied, stunned.

I was thinking, 'so where the hell is the nearest toilet?' and 'where should we go to do our business if there are no other toilets?'

Very irony, isn't it?

Ok enough of that.

Anyway, I had to carry so many things; my bag(Billabong), a carrier bag containing tidbits, bottle of drinks and nasi lemak and my fishing equipments. We hailed a cab immediately after we bought our foods and we were carrying too many things to be boarding a bus.

I and D chatted till we reached Punggol Beach, unaware of the cab fare. The driver stopped a distance away from the bus terminal, 'that will be $15.90.'

'Wah!' My mind screamed. Ah forget it! I handed the money to the cab driver and hurried out of the cab immediately. Just as we were about to start walking, we realised that we had left our fishing rods in the cab. D turned back and waved at the cab driver to stop the cab from leaving and then D opened the door to retrieve back the rods.

Luckily we realized it earlier, if not we would be fishing using our bare hands. Nah`! I don't think we are able to catch any if we are supposedly to use that method. Furthermore it's too primative.

But I was laughing my heads off for being so forgetful! Then, we went down the stairs and to the sandy beach. We walked a distance before finding a nice spot to place our euqipments and belongings.

8.19a.m...

It was early morning; the sun, already blazing hot, was on its ascent into the sky. We had our breakfast first before doing any other things. There were too many ants and other smaller insects at that area. And for your info, we were sitting on huge rocks - yes - bigger than your butts.

I couldn't finish the packet of rice. Reasons were that there were too much rice and I wasn't having the appetite to eat Nasi Lemak. D was still eating so I had to set up the fishing equipments myself.

It was definitely low tide since we could see so many huge rocks uncovered and we could go further down to collect shells and clams.

I wore my cap since the day was getting hotter by the minutes. I took along the fishing rod and walked down to the sea; confident that I could catch at least five fishes or more.

9.30am...

Maybe I was over-confident. I still haven't caught any fishes yet. Unlike the previous week, I had already caught 3 fishes by this time. I waited and waited. But each time I retrieved my bait hook back, the bait was gone.

Damn fishes! There are getting smarter.

I retreat and went back to join D who was setting up the equipments at the rocks. I installed more hooks and secured the baits(prawns) tightly on the hooks and went back down to the sea.

There were quite a number of people at the beach, maybe since it was a Sunday and it was a off day for most of the working people. They, like me, were fishing too. I believe there were intermediate while I am just an amateur.

I was feeling embarrassed.

10.35am.

Oh! I felt a pull! And then I pulled the hook out from the water. Tadah! I've finally caught a fish but a small one. Well, actually its not that small, maybe the size of one's palm.

I hurried back to the rocks and pulled the hook out from the fish's mouth. D took the box(meant for the fish) and hurried to the sea to collect the water. Immediately after I pulled the hook out from the fish, I released it into the box and switched on the oxygen pump generator.

And I went back to the sea to catch more fishes.

11.59am...

The sun was right above me. Small beads of perspiration formed on my forehead and ran down my cheeks. I could also feel a slight trickle of perspiration running down my back. With the temperature soaring above 34 degrees celcius, I could hardly concentrate on what I was doing.

My mind was drifting away and I began to feel restless. The sun was draining my energy. I went back and sat down to have a short rest. My body felt weak and warm. Was I having fever again? No! I thought.

I saw D fishing away, hoping to catch more fish. D however caught two fishes more than me. Argh! Was my fishing skills diminishing or was I too drained out to focus?

I started to feel a little giddy. Maybe I was not yet recovered from my fever. Nah~ don't think too much, I said to myself. I ate two panadols and shut my eyes to relax my mind.

'I caught a fish!'

12.14pm...

I opened my eyes, startled. 'Kompata?'

D looked at me weirdly.

'Kompata... Kompata?

'What?' D asked, confused.

I started speaking a language that nobody understood, even D could not figure out what I was talking about.

I skipped around like a lunatic and hopped my way to D.

'What is wrong with you?' D asked.

'KOMPATA!'

1.45pm...

I felt re-energized. I was ready to kick some butt and catch more fish! I went back down and aggressively threw the hook into the water. I turned back and smiled D.

'So weird...' D thought.

And then I started singing... 'Kom----pata! KOM KOM KOM PATA!' and the best has yet to come. The chorus, 'KOMPATA!' I was shouting like a man mad.

'OI! Siao ah!' D exclaimed.

Maybe the sun had damaged my brain. The others who were fishing not far away from me looked in bewilderment. Some thought I was talking in thailand or japanese since the word 'Kompata' sounded alittle Japanese and Thai but the fact was maybe it was an alien language.

Maybe I was sending a message to the aliens. 'Kompata (Attack earth now)!' The other fishermen could be cursing me, 'Stop shouting or you will frighten the fishes away!'

I kept quiet and concentrated on fishing.

Fast forward...

4:15pm...

I took an umbrella out from my bag and opened it up. Ah! much better. I went to the sea, holding the fishing rod on my right and the umbrella on my left hand. I totally looked like an amateur at fishing and a complete idiot.

The fishermen once again looked at me.

'Hey stop looking or I will gorge your eyes out!' My mind shouted.

And then I saw people eating ice-cream. Oh! The ice-cream seller is here! I thought. D went to buy the ice cream; strawberry flavours for me!

While waiting, I continued fishing and tried to do the singing in the rain dance, holding the umbrella high up; the waves splashed at me but shielded by the umbrella.

'KOMPATA!'

Ok ok. I think by now you must be irritated by the word, 'kompata'. Stop it ISAAC or I'll just stitch your mouth so that you can never say a single word again!

And then the worst thing happened. There came a huge wind blowing at me. I lost grip of the umbrella and it flew away and rolled along the sands. 'My umbrella!' I shouted.

Luckily, I managed to catch up with my umbrella. Ha Ha! It was so ridiculous. I felt so humilated.

D came back. Phew! D didn't see the whole incident. I closed the umbrella and brave the storm or should I say sun.

30 minutes had passed...

I felt a burning sensation on my skin. It was unbearable - I dipped myself into the water and stayed there for a few minutes. My skin at the leg began to peel off. Sunburn!

6.45pm...

We packed up and called it a day. So far, I and D caught 7 fishes - 3 small ones( the size of ones thumb), 2 ikan tamban, 2 medium size fish(the size of ones palm) and of course a stone crab!

We left the area at 7 and headed back home.

8.15pm...

I hit the shower and let the running water wash the unpleasant smells of the fish and prawns. From head to toe, they were cleansed but my skin was burning upon water touching it.

I looked so dark after 8 long hours roasted in the blazing sun.

Signing off,
Shah Rizal Isaac

Saturday, July 17, 2004

The fall of Icy Kingdom 

 

"Isaac, get out of the there!" someone screamed. 

 

"There is not enough time for me to do so!" I shouted back.

 

It was a total chaos; the earth was splitting, volcanoes were erupting and the skies were totally dark. People were fleeing for their lives but there was no where to run. Lava surged out from beneath the earth, destroying everything that was in its way.

 

I had no where to run, I was trapped. The lava was approaching my way. I'm going to be burnt to death, I thought.

 

But suddenly, a chopper came and I was rescued. From above, I saw people burnt to death. The lava destroyed everything at sight. I looked away form the scene. Tears trickled down my cheeks.

 

I thought I had managed to escape but then, something happened. Somehow, the chopper began to slow down. "What happened?" I asked.

 

 I looked at the engines and it was smoking. The engine was overheated and the chopper started to descend from the sky. But however, below was a pool of lava. 
 

 

"No!" I shouted.

 

And then, I fell out of the chopper and into the hot lava... 

 

I jerked out from my bed. What a nightmare! That was the third time I dreamt of doomsday.

 

My forehead was blazing hot and my body felt very weak. I knew I was coming down with fever soon.  And I was having a terrible headache.

 

I checked my temperature - 38.2.

 

Damn!

 

Hopefully, my fever will subside. I have a date tomorrow and I can't miss it.
 

Friday, July 16, 2004

Disappointment

 

The sun rose in a pool of crimson gold, spilling lights all over the land and white clouds. I dressed up for school and left at 10:30am; knowing that I will be late, I took a cab.

 

I knew that our N/W F lecturer wasn't there as he was in reservist so there will be a relieve. As I waited, I was disappointed with the turn out. There were only four people waiting outside the classroom. I started to panic. 

  

I was the only one informed by Mr.Shafique that he was going for reservist, nobody else knew. I told my classmates that he will not be in school for fourteen days; thought that they need to be updated and be aware of the situation.

 

Least did I expect, by doing so  they may decide not to come for N/W F lessons since he was not at school and I will definitely be in trouble. Why? Because I was the one informing them, thus I will be in deep sh*t.

 

One by one of them decided not to attend lessons, thinking that their attendance won't be marked. I was paralysed with fear. I would be blamed.

 

But something happened. Miraculously, the numbers began to grow. They knew the consequences for not coming will be atrocious and they knew they might get me into a spot.

 

We waited till 11:30am and if the relieve lecturer did not come, we decided to leave and have our break instead. However in the end, he did not come either.

 

But I was disappointed at those who did not come. Sigh!

 

We stayed at the institute's library and I watched Days of Our Lives; it's one of my favorite soap operas. And then when our break ended, we advanced to the PCA classroom. 



I was utterly suprised to know that 2/3 of my classmates read my blog.



2/3 of 27 is 18.



Amazing.


 

Yet again, lessons ended pretty late. I headed back home immediately and thought of changing my website's template; you know - something new for a change. But it wont be up so soon since there's much to be done and modified.

 

On my way back home, somehow, Patricia Mok's face appeared in my mind. Back then, she didn't look like a star but after she'd won the best supporting actress award last year, she's now shining .

 

And her appearance and sense of dressing started to change for the better. She doesn't look ugly anymore. In fact, she look quite presentable and if you look at the side angle of her, she look cute.

 

Nowadays, I've been noticing that she had roles in every shows, e.g. Double Happiness, Room in my Heart, a Child's Hope 2 and guest starring in Top Fun 6. She's booming to stardom. Hopefully, she can grab another award this year.  



Thursday, July 15, 2004

Yesterday...



I overslept and missed my first two lessons, Carreer PL and S & W. But I swore I slept really early the night before. Probably, I was really exhausted. I had been so busy these week that I hardly have any time for my love ones.



I arrived at school fifteen minutes past eleven. However, Carreer PL ended at twelve. Even if I went for the lesson, my lecturer would marked me absent so what's the point of going for the class when I will still be marked absent.



I went to have my lunch instead with one of my classmates who were in the same boat me; late. The rapport between I and him were not close. But after we had a very fruitful coversation for fifteen minutes or so, we started to know each other better.



Afterward, my classmates went to the canteen to meet up with me. I was informed that there was an upcoming assignment which has to be handed in by next week. Oh, damn! Homework...



Lessons ended late but I still managed to find time to stop by a ice-cream stall before going back home. Strawberry with bread. Yummy!



Anyway, my N/W F lecturer, Mr. Shafique, will not be coming to our class for the next fourteen days as he was called for reservist. Do we rejoice over it or should we be sad about it? Definitely be sad about it of course since I will be missing alot of lessons and losing vital informations for my examinations in the coming weeks.



Our PC Architecture lecturer will also be going for reservist for the next fourteen days. So we are left to rot, I guessed. Will there be any other lecturers to relieve us? Or will lessons be cancelled? That will be left unanswered till further notice by our class committee.



Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Support NKF (National Kidney Foundation)



Support National Kidney Foundation (NKF) this Sunday. Call in as many times as you can!



The lesser fortunate people are suffering but you aren't. You will never realize how fortunate you are!

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Do you want to know who lives at your block?



Have you ever wondered who lives at your block?



Or have you seen a cute guy or girl and wants to know more about them?



Visit www.wholivesnearyou.com and you will get your answer.



Recommended by Tommy Lin Xie Zheng.

Monday, July 12, 2004

Disguised Innocent But MEAN, Bitch...



Bitch is one of my good friends whom I knew seven years back. She's this petite girl who I always thought was a saint. There's no questionable doubt that she's hardworking, caring and kind but it was THEN.



I always look upon her as my younger sister and she's the only friend that is ever so close to my mum and dad. She's always been there for me; encouraging and supporting every decisions I made.



But ever since we graduated from secondary school and advanced to tertiary education, she has change ALOT. Now, she's sensitive, unkind, and have a very strong temper. In simple words, she's a mean bitch.



Back then, she was quiet, elegant and dainty and never defended herself when her friends scolded or hurled vulgarities to her. She's always ever so patient when they bullied her and mistreated her. She once told me she will never be like them. Never to scheme, never to betray, never to be shamed by people.



During secondary school, she was a prefect and being a prefect she had to set her standards to be one. She was a role model. She's liked by alot of people but toward the ending of secondary school days, people started to hate her.



One simple reason - She has an attitude problem. But that's the thing that she didnt notice about herself. People would call her bitch and mean but she would accuse them for being nasty because they hurled such mean comments to her.



They called her that because she was being snobbish and throwing temper to them whenever she's not happy. I always stayed by her side, giving her support and consoling her when she's down and out.



After secondary school day, we contacted each other less often as we were both busy and studying in different institutes. But we do make it to a point that we meet at least once a week.



And if I was really very busy with projects or school stuffs, I won't meet her and would tell her to adjourned our meetings to other days. But she is always very persistent and never fails to sway my decision into meeting her.



This happens often and I find her IRRITATING. E.G. If you are suppose to hand in your project tomorrow and you have not yet done a single thing, would you still able to forgo completing your project and meet your friend instead?



You would probably say to your friend, 'we shall meet other times' but if you friends insisted and kept on persuading you to meet him/her, would you feel irritated and thinks that your friend did not understand your situation well?



Yes will be your answer.



Mean thing number 1:



Tell me would anyone shun away a good friend who admitted that he was a gay or she was a lesbian to you?



For me I won't because if she/he is my very good friend, someone who has always helped me, cared for me, I won't shun them away even if they are gays or lesbians.



But she did. She shunned AD away when he admitted that he was a gay. He was being truthful and it takes a lot of courage to say ones a gay to another. I was disappointed with Janet's attitude. Really disappointed.



Worst still, she looked down on them. She despises gays and lesbians. I don't understand her. They are like us but it's just that they prefer liking their own gender. I think that there's not a need to make a fuss out of it.



She alienated Ad and tells everyone that he was a total freak. Thus, everyone was manipulated and brainwashed by her, leaving Ad to be hated by others.



Mean thing number 2:



She would always say that her friends mistreated her, hurled vulgarties and scolded her. But now she's doing the same thing to others. When someone playfully said that her hair was messy, she raised her voice and ticked them off. They are just being playful and it's not their ill intention to make her angry.



If it's the fact that you have a messy hair, go tidy them up. It's just a small comment being made on you and you have to blown the matter up?



On my birthday, I invited her, Ad and a few others. I was very disappointed to know that they, including Janet alienated Ad. I knew Ad was feeling uncomfortable. It hurts me alot when I see him in a state that nobody would want to talk to him.



We'd bought movie tickets but he decided to forgo it and head straight back home, thinking that nobody would welcome him. I persuaded him to stay but he decided to meet me another day instead.



When he left, Bitch rejoiced and commented, 'that gay leave already, so happy.' That was really so despicable of her.



Mean thing number 3:



Yet again on my birthday, she dared to flare up and raised her voice. She didn't flare up at me of course but it was our friends who had commented that she looked like an auntie going to a market place. She hate when someone commented her that and she decided to scold them in public including me, an innocent party.



It was my birthday and she's making a scene. I felt disappointed at her but I didn't really indicate to her that I was feeling upset. I didn't want to ruin my day.



But isn't it cruel to know that it was your friend's birthday and one of your friend is getting angry at some small comments and flares up in public. Shame on her.



Mean thing number 4:



She told me that she's not childish anymore and that she has a mature thinking now. BUT, she prove me wrong. She would lament how childish our friends were, watching pokemon or scolding people like a mad man or woman. She's no different.



Everyone has an inner childhood in them. They including me, including you, including even Janet watched cartoon now and then. Don't you agree with me?



And if someone gets on our nerves, we would scold them. Am I right? Or is that being childish?



Well, if that's so then I'm childish, you're childish and Janet is even more childish. For she was someone who commented that was being childish, she's one too.



Scenario.



Anuar: Your hair messy.



Bitch: Shut up!



Anuar: I just said your hair is messy.



Bitch: Shut up lah. It's my hair. Not your problem!



Anuar: Ok I'm sorry. Where are we heading to?



Bitch: Can you don't ask stupid question?



Anuar: I'm just asking.



Bitch: You know you are very childish.



Anuar: I not childish.



Bitch: You are lah. Can you just shut up. You are really irritating me.



*****

Now you tell me who is being childish?



Mean thing number 5:



She once had a boyfriend named Z. She broke off with him because he was being stingy, calculative and many other things. But to think of it now, Bitch is no different from him.



She's a complete idiot to think of even letting him go. I do have to admit that Z is not compatible for her but he was kind and caring. He tried. She said that Z gets jealous easily. But she herself sometimes gets jealous too.



I invited Z to my birthday and he came. But Bitch didn't really welcome him. She didn't want to see his face. To her, he's a fat ugly guy. Out of curiosity, then why did you choose him in the first place? DUH!



Bitch: I don't want to see his face! He so ugly.



Me: ...



Bitch: Ask him to go back. And why did you invite him to come?



Me: ...



I was speechless. Hey, he's my friend, that's why I invited him. Even though both of you had broken off, still both of you can be friends.



Mean thing number 6:



She is mean. And if she's not happy with you, she will stop being your friend. To her, friends can be thrown away when they are no longer useful to her. Friends are like a piece of paper that can be crumpled and thrown.



She dislike people to smoke, drink club and have tattoos on them and she won't friend them if they have at least one of the things mentioned above.



Bitch: Eeee.. he smokes. Don't need to friend him lah. We find a new friend.



Even if he have a tattoo, smokes, drinks or club, he's your friend; you would not have to mind as long as they don't influence you. If not they are harmless.



Mean thing number 7: 



Bitch gave me her MSN password so that I can check emails for her if she was away. She entrusted me with her password and I wouldn't abuse her password anyhow. To be fair, I gave her mine.



But now I think it was a mistake.



She chatted with my friends and even added them to her MSN contact list. Basically, she had abused her authority. My friends complained that she had added and chatted with them.



She even tried to dig out secrets of me from them.



Bitch, if you have any doubts in me, ASK ME! You bitch...



Never to occur in your mind, this sweet looking girl could be so malicious, so vain, so MEAN! Never to trust her! I say NEVER!



Signing off,

Shah Rizal Isaac






Sunday, July 11, 2004

*Jumps for joy!*



*Skips around*



*And does the macerena!*



I have finally found my godbrother, Amal.

Friday, July 9, 2004

My Godbrother, Amal (I Miss You)



We were both mix races of malay and chinese and we shared alot of things in common. We both realized that we like collecting tribal chokers and you promised me to make a pair of tribal choker to symbolise our brotherhood. You haven't made one for me yet and I will still be waiting for that very day.



You are a very charasmatic and intelligent person. You are independent and strong-willed too. Instantly, I knew a person like you would attract alot of people. You give out a strong magical aura within you that brings people closer to you, wanting them to know you better.



You're just someone special, someone that always brightens up my day.



I still remembered the first time we met was at Tiong Bahru Plaza and the very first show we watched together was a mandarin movie, 'So Close'. And then we sat next to a small fountain where we chatted and tried to get to know one another better. We even indulged in each other's secrets.



But it was getting late and I had to leave. I got curfew back then and I can't even stay out late. Before we left, you decided that we should have a brother hand shake. There were too many steps to the hand shake; it was difficult to memorize, so I gave up. But you wanted us to do the handshake each time we meet.



I tried but I failed. I was a slow learner. Sorry brother.



And you wanted to teach me dancing but I refused; it's not really my forte. I was afraid that I might messed up my dance steps and make a mockery of myself. You told me it was easy but I doubted. And then I thought you were disappointed or angry at me but you were not.



We've done so many things together; playing arcade at Queensway Shopping Center, surveying shoes, watching movies etc. You even sent me home to my block, to the lift. And when the lift door closed, I began to miss you. It was like the other half of me was gone. But those were the happy days for me.



I went to your house to use your scanner as mine broke down. I was glad that I had met your mother and younger siblings. And then you showed me a couple of videos of you taking part in a dancing competition. I was elated when you told me you'd won.



When I had no confidence in passing my math, you encouraged me to do well even though both of us knew that I was hopeless in my math subject. When I got my results back and it turned out to be a bad one, you comforted me and told me not to give up.



We were getting along pretty well until one day, we suddenly lost contact of one another. Till now, I have no idea what happened. It happened too fast; I was sad. I shed tears the night after, lost and confused. Have I lost you?



My heart ached badly.



I miss your voice which always spoke so softly in my ear letting me know you cared about my day. I miss your laughter so quick and unbridled. It warmed the center of my heart.I miss your thoughts that were freely shared at the end of our day.



Your name comes to my mind bringing, visions of yellow roses and white vases and the long talks on the phone. The friendship that would never end for the both of us.



I miss you when something really good happens because you're the first one I want to share it with.I miss you when something is troubling me, because you're the one who understands me so well.



I miss you when I laugh and when I cry, because you're the one who makes the laughter grow and the tears disappear. I miss you when I can't hear your voice, because it always brings a smile to my face and makes my heart skip a beat. I miss you when you're so far away, because you make me feel as if I'm not alone in this great big world.



I'M MISSING YOU!!! (A LOT)







Thanks big brother for being there for me always.



I hope wherever you are and whatever you do, you will always be happy and content. I will always be happy for you big brother. If you've come across this message, please give me a call. But for now I shall let fate decides.



With Love,

Your Adik,

Shah Rizal Isaac

Thursday, July 8, 2004

Resemblance



I saw someone at school who has an uncanny resemblance as my godbrother, Amal. I was utterly shocked that he has the same features and physique as my godbrother.



I thought I saw my godbrother but as I take a closer look, he was not and for the fact that I know that my godbrother now is in police force.



I saw him thrice, at the canteen, in the bus and at the auditorium....
Live life to the fullest
Hectic But Never Too Stress



My classmates were complaining that Data Communication, one of our modules, is diffucult. I beg to differ. It's either they're not paying attention or they're lazy to take the initiative to understand the module.



Though I've encountered a few problems now and then but I managed to read up the instructions and undo my mistakes. Wha lah! Nothing's too difficult if you try and learn over your mistakes.



Anyway, I am homework-free BUT I have to do the teacher's dirty job of doing the administration work. *Sigh* Thought I could have a nice rest when I reached home but I had to warm my butt at the computer chair and stare at my laptop for hours just to complete the task that was given to me.



I thought I would get the task done within minutes but least did I expect that I have not installed Microsoft Office. I search high and low for the disk but it was no where to be found. It was a total fark up, haha.



But being patient and persistent paid off. It was hidden in my between the books. Should be more tidy! When I was done, I realized that my printer was not working and I have to hand them afterward to my lecturer.



I was left with no options but then an idea struck my mind. My friends would be able to lend a helping hand. Taufik was the best candidate; from what I last heard from him, his printer should still be working!



And wha lah! My job was done. I just need to collect the documents from him afterward in school! Thank you so much!



Signing Off,

Shah Rizal Isaac

Wednesday, July 7, 2004

Opinions



Can you ever imagine someone insulting you or the things that you wear. Probably the clothings that you wear for today doesn't not match appropriately and they will comment that you don't have a good fanshion taste or the watch that you wear wasn't nice-looking and they will say how ugly that watch is. Please take it off!



Well, let me tell you something about these kind of people.



Number 1 - They got no life, so they decided to insult/degrade others and they will feel good about it.



Number 2 - What they're potraying about themselves are that fucking a dog is much better than fucking a human.



Number 3 - They are poor because they can never get to buy expensive things.



Number 4 - They are jealous because it suits you well but they just want to let people know that you're a sucker.



These people are incorrigible; just too malicious. Oh, just FUCK THEM!



Signing Off,

Shah Rizal Isaac

Tuesday, July 6, 2004

Bad Dreams



I had 2 strange dreams lately.



Once, I was chased by zombies from across the street and tried to flee for my life but I began to slow down and was finally caught. There were not one but more than a dozen of those zombies.



I had this dream a few days after watching Dawn of the Dead so I probably would have guessed that I have brought the show into my dream.



OR



Doomsday is coming!



Another was that I dreamt about my best buddy, Salimie. We were sitting at my house balcony and we were chit-chatting away. But it was not that simple. He started calling me 'sayang' and I kissed him on the cheek! Salimie, if you're reading this, don't freak out! It's a dream that I dreamt. It's not going to happen!



*Sayang - Dear or Darling.



*****



We've all had them - those alarming dreams of being chased by something grisly, a loved one getting hurt or dying, driving a car without brakes, not knowing the answers to a test, falling fearfully through the air, appearing naked or half-dressed in public, or racing for the train that has just departed. These and other bad dreams that everyone experiences at some point in their lives are too familiar.



What most of us don't realize is that these very same dreams are universal. They have existed from before the beginning of recorded literature, and will occur tonight in every country of our planet. They cross different cultures and classes. They endure over time.



Some of the dreams that we may dream or dreamt are/were:



Injury or Death



You or another dream character (often a loved person) is injured, killed, or dies. Usually the cause is accidental. The villain or threat is not emphasized; injury or death just happens. This theme includes the common dream that your teeth are falling out.



Examples:



o My mother dies.

o My child is accidentally struck by a car. I am hysterical.

o I shrink. Someone comes along and squashes me.



Losing Valuable Possession



You dream that your pocketbook or wallet is missing, misplaced, or stolen. Variations include loss of some other valuable possession, such as a watch, a diamond ring, a wedding ring, a precious vase, artwork, and so forth Even your entire house, or part of it, may vanish.



Examples:



o I fall into a bog and my purse sinks with the airline tickets in it.

o My diamond slips off my finger and falls to the bottom of the lake.



Being in a House on Fire



You dream of being in a house or other building that is on fire. You may feel frightened, make efforts to escape, or try to save others.



Examples:



o My house is ablaze and my family jumps out of the window.

o I look out the window and see a beautiful garden with flowers. Then I realize my house is in flames.



Poor Test or Other Performance



You dream of anxiety-filled activity related to taking an examination in school, or of being tested in some way. There are several versions of this nightmare. You may arrive at the room to find the test has already begun; you may not be able to find the right room; you may be handed the test and realize that you do not know the answers or have never even read the books upon which the test is based.



You may not have time to finish. In any case, you are uncertain you are able to pass or to graduate. In another version of the same theme, you may be due to perform in a play, musical, sport, or other event and, as you begin, realize you have forgotten the lines, do not know the part, do not recognize the material or don't know what to do.



Examples:



o I'm handed the exam and glance at the questions. I realize with horror that I don't know any of the answers. I never read the books for this test.

o I'm standing on the stage in my costume. Suddenly I can't remember any of my lines. Am I in the wrong play?



Falling or Drowning



You dream of falling through the air, frightened. You may or may not strike the ground before awakening. A variant of this dream are images of drowning or near-drowning.



Examples:



o I am running when I trip over a stick and fall over a cliff, going down and down and I am about the hit the rocks below.

o I'm swimming when a giant tidal wave washes over me; I can't breathe.



Being Naked or Inappropriately Dressed in Public



You dream of being nude in a public place. You may also dream of being inappropriately dressed in public, for instance, showing up at work in your nightgown or pajamas. A variation of this theme is the appearance of some other dream character being naked or wrongly dressed.



Examples:



o I'm in the office when I become aware that people are looking at me in a peculiar way. I look down and am shocked to see I have no clothes on.

o My groom shows up at the altar wearing a weird outfit, a mix of an ethnic costume and a clown suit. I'm mortified.



Missing the Boat or Other Transport



You dream of rushing to catch a train, bus, ship, or other transport, and miss it. You may dream of arriving too late for a performance in which you are supposed to participate, and find that the play, musical production, sport competition, or other event, has already begun and you are unable to be involved.



Examples:



o I'm racing to catch the plane but just as I reach the gate the plane takes off without me.

o I hurry into the theater and get my cello out. I can hear the music playing--they've already begun the concert without me.



Lost



You dream you are lost, perhaps feeling desperate. You may be trying to find your way in a forest, in city streets, in a maze, or inside a large building.



Examples:



o I am in a strange part of town that looks threatening. I keep trying to find my way out but get more and more mixed up.

o I am in a hospital basement. All the corridors look alike - I'm lost.



Paralyzed or Stuck or Trapped



You dream you are unable to move, perhaps unable to scream or breathe. The circumstances vary. You may dream that you are buried alive, or that you are caught or trapped in some other way. You may feel terror.



Examples:



o I am buried alive. I bang on the lid of the coffin, but no one can hear me. (man who felt stuck in a marriage)

o I'm lying in a hospital with dead people on stretchers all around me. I'm alive but I can't move or scream. I'm horrified. (sexually abused teenaged girl)



Guided by the Dead



Some of the most powerful dreams we have are dreams about loved ones who have died. Men and women have changed their life paths, and sometimes their non-belief in an afterlife, based on dreams in which they felt they received direct messages from the departed.



School Days



5th July 2004



I was like a lost soul wandering on earth finding for heaven's gate. But However, I was not as lost as those new students. Though it was not my first day in that school, I felt nervous and confused.



Usually, we would be slacking on the first day of school. I was laughing my head's off at the new intakes; they look so innocent and naive while others look fierce and stern. They were scurrying all over the place to locate their classes and to get from one place to another.



We had an early dismissed; the lecturer was a slacker and we had nothing much to do. LOL. Somehow, I had a strong hunch that I would be called back after class to help my lecturer with his administration work. Damn, I hate it when he do that. I had plans afterward but I had to stay back to help him instead.



I was dummped with loads of work; I had to do the class roster and re-do the floating register by the end of this week. *Shrugs* Oh well, it's perfectly alright with me. ARGH!



I then proceeded to Marina Square with my classmates to watch a movie at 1300hrs. We had lunch at Burger King but I only drank Ice Lemon Tea. Fast food are just too oily. And then we advanced to the cinema. Toward the last part of the movie, I was in need of the gents. Damn it, I had to make it fast or I will miss the ending, I thought.



In a jiffy, I was done. Thank god, I didn't miss the last part!



After the movie ended, the others left but I, Salime, Sua`ad and Erlina decided to chill out at Harborfront Coffee Bean. By then, I was exhausted and I felt so sleepy! I want to go HOME!



Time ticked by, and soon after, I had no will to walk further. I took a bus but it was packed. Cursed to the man who tried to caress my butt. FARK HIM!



Signing off,

Shah Rizal Isaac

Monday, July 5, 2004

Revenge...



There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.



The angel tells them, "As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most."



He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery. The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing.



The angel tells them, "Um, you have fifteen minutes left. Would you care to do it again?"



He asks her, "Shall we?"



She eagerly replies, "Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions. This time I hold the pigeon down and you crap on its head!"



*****



Dreaming that you are taking revenge, symbolizes your weak character and bitter heart, which will lead to loss of friends and cause your more problems. Dreaming that others take revenge on you indicates that you are surrounded by enemies and have reason to be fearful.



My Time Table



My new time table suck to the core. The previous one was much better; slack. Looks like it's going to be a very hectic and busy term! Damn!



Monday:

0800hrs to 1100hrs (N/W F)



Tuesday:

1000hrs to 1200hrs (Data Communicaton)

1300hrs to 1500hrs (PC Architecture)

1500hrs to 1800hrs (WAPP)



Wednesday:

0830hrs to 1000hrs (SW2)

1000hrs to 1200hrs (Career PL)

1300hrs to 1500hrs (PC Architecture)

1500hrs to 1800hrs (Data Communication)



Thursday:

1100hrs to 1300hrs (N/W F)

1400hrs to 1700hrs (PC Architecture)



Friday:

0800hrs to 1100hrs (PC Architecture)



Don't you agree?
Happy 19th Birthday Salimie!







On this birthday, may you remember, the best experiences you shared, the most meaningful words that were spoken, the happiest moments you had together, and the comfort that has given you the courage to go on.





Sunday, July 4, 2004

Fishing...



Yesterday, I had to wake up at 8 in the morning; promised to meet D at 9 but unfortunately, D was late! How exacerbating! Anyway, we had our breakfast at the prata shop once again near Silat Avenue.



The pratas there are scrumptious. You will be ordering for one or two more after you've tasted the first. The shop somehow is not air-conditioned, so you will be sweating all over! Oh who cares about air-conditioning if the pratas are delicious. But if you're the health-concious kind of person, don't dine there, because the pratas are oily. =)



We left the premises at 1030hrs, and hailed for a cab. Lazy us but we weren't. We wanted to arrive there early so that we can get plenty of catch. But before that we went to Hougang Green to buy shrimps at Shop & Save and a string and fishing rod at the aquarium shop.



We intended to buy the fishing rod that's worth 14 dollars but the shop owner recommended us the 19 dollars fishing rod.



Shop Owner: Buy this one... Very good. Catch fish sure get one.



So we nodded in agreements and decided to buy the 19 dollars fishing rod. at first we tried to bargain for the shop owner to sell it to us at 16 dollars but the shop owner was persistent of selling it to us at 18 dollars.



D and I intended to split the cost so I forked out 10 dollars while D forked out 7 dollars. Unfortunately, D only had 6 dollars and 75 cents.



Panicked. What should we do?



D: Rizal, do you have an additional 25 cents with you?



I shook my head. I've only 10 dollars left with me and I've used it to buy the fishing rod. My wallet was empty.



1 minute had passed.



Shop Owner: Ok lah. I sell it at 16 dollars.



Me: Thank you Auntie. Auntie, I always come to this shop to buy fishing equipment you know?



Shop Owner: Yes I know.



Me: Next time I buy more stuff from your shop ok? *Smiles*



And we left. Suddenly D took out 2 10 dollar notes from D's pocket. What the? I thought he was cashless, just like me.



Oh now I get. How smart D was to make believe to me and the auntie that D was cashless.



Yet again, we intended to take a cab to Punggol End as we were unable to find the FREAKING bus number 82. We were clueless where the bus-stop was. We got the cab and the fare was 6 dollars. Our cash was depleting! Later no money for dinner! Oh no!



In the cab, I was annoyed. D's mobile phone kept beeping. I wonder who the sender was. And then it beeped again. I asked and D said it was multimedia messaging. Hmmm...



Yet again it beeped again. I reached out and took D's mobile.



XXX: Good afternoon SAYANG. What are you doing now?



Jealousy engulfed me. Anger clouded my vision. But I kept silent, not intending to erupt or show any signs that I was jealous and furious. We reached our destination and alighted at the bus interchange.



I had kept quiet all the while when we were walking and D found that that something was amissed. D knew that it was because of the message that D had received earlier. I remained compose.



D explained that D knew the sender way before me and that the sender would message D fortnightly. I accepted D explanation and all ended well.



However, why did D not tell me that someone had messaged him, instead D just kept quiet and thought that everything would resolved. D explained that D didn't want me to be jealous or misunderstood D.



But if that was the case, then I shall not tell D whoever messaged me since D said so.



Each time, I received a message from anyone that I've known from IRC, I would basically inform D without fail. But just that one mesage D received, D tried to hide it from me. It seemed unfair.



At that point of time, I really wanted to call the sender and tick him off. DAMN IT!



Anyway, were arrived at the spot that we wanted and prepared our fishing gear.



We were ready to fish! Woohoo.



It was yet another scorching day. I was dehydrated and felt giddy for a moment. D told me to take a rest and drink plenty of water.



But minutes later, I was back to fish again! Haha.



D caught the first fish and we place in a plastic box and we proceeded to catch another. Suddenly, I just have a hunch that the fish D caught was gone. Feeling uneasy, I went back and realized that the FISH was really gone.



We had forgotten to place the cover and we assume that the fish might have jumped out from the plastic box. DARN! But it was perfectly alright with us. There's still plenty of time to catch more fish.



I cursed the weather for being so hot!



And then the sky grew darker. Ops! Lightning and thunder raged the skies above. We knew we had to stop immediately. It was too dangerous for us to continue. The waves were huge.



I sat behind a rock and leaned myself on the brick wall, watching D approaching toward my direction.



Suddenly, lightning striked again, and zapped a tree that was not that far from us, followed by the thunder. D shouted madly, 'Ahhhhhhhhhh'. It was so loud that people at the other end looked at D.



*Embarrassed*



D sat next to me. We waited for the sky to be clear again but then it poured down heavily. We had to look for shelter.



We were drenched but before the rain got much heavier, we had found a shelter for ourselves at the bus-stop.



The bus-stop was packed with fishermen. They, however, brought along fishing rods that I thought might cost more than ours. We were ashamed to let the see our rod. We bought it for a mere 16 dollars. Haha.



Actually, we bought the fishing rod which was meant for the kids to play but hey, it really looks like the real one. So stop laughing. And furthermore, we caught 3 fishes with our rod.



Time ticked by and the heavy rain subsided.



We were about to leave when I heard one of the fishermen said, 'Look at their rod, so simple, I don't think they caught any fish with it.'



What the FARK!



I turned and stared at them.



'It must be a 'kiddy rod,' the other said.



How could they be so malicious. I felt insulted. I wanted to get back at them but NO! I remained calm.



So what if they have rods better than us. From what I saw, they had not caught any fishes yet but we already have three. And I mean BIG ONES.



You see - it's not the quality that matters. It's how you fish and finding strategic locations where all the fishes are. So don't ever belittle our rod.



If I had the chance I would hook their dicks as my bait! The blood, the pain! Hah!



We went back to the same spot and tried our luck again. It was low tide by then! But however, we didn't caught any.



I gave up and decided to join D at he waterbreaker. I had to climb the rocks with my fishing rod on my other hand so it was pretty hard for me to balance.



And tragedy befalled on me. I stepped on a slippery rock and whoosh....



I fell sideways, my left leg caught in between the rocks. Boom!



D turned and saw me lying helplessly. D couldn't help me as D was far away from me. I got up and the excruciating pain that had been inflicted on me. One of my toe nails cracked, a slight cut at my left leg and my right hand was bruised. But nothing serious.



Oh my, I was so ashame for myself. How could I fell down. Luckily, I didn't hit my head if not...



It was getting dark so we decided to make a move.



I had an enjoyable day!



Signing off,

Shah Rizal Isaac
School Re-opens Tomorrow



To Erlina: Thanks for informing me that school re-opens tomorrow. But however, I will not take the initiative to inform the rest of our classmates as told by you. I felt that it is really unneccesary and its money-wasting. No, I'm not blaming or scolding you. No worries.



If I sent a message which costs 5 cents each to 30 people , that will be $1.50. Though its cheap, it's still money. And if unfortunately, a few of them had changed their mobile number, I will be wasting my money.



Wait, you must be cursing me SELFISH ARROGANT BRAT!



No I'm not. They should have some common sense that even without informing them, they would know that school re-opens on that particular date.



If those without, they should asked the lecturer personally him/herself. They shouldn't ask me; I am not the lecturer's informer. I don't do his bidding. If you have any questionable doubts, call the administration office.



To Michelle Quek: You have been asking me a couple of times regarding the time we should report to school. The answer is I don't know. Like the rest of you, I have no idea; I'm clueless.



And you asked me have I asked our lecturer what time should we report to class. Like I said, I don't do anyone's bidding. If you are unsure, CALL him, don't ask me. What if I the lecturer told me that the time would be at 8 and I've told you but suddenly, he decided to change the timing and forgot to inform me. Thus, you and I will get the wrong timing and unfortunately, i will be blamed for my incompentence and you will start hurling vulgarities to me.



To Raymond: I don't know the time; I'm clueless. Please call the lecturer if you are in doubt.



Oh well, if anyone of you ever read my blog, I've already indicated that there's school tomorrow. As for the time, I'm unsure.



Saturday, July 3, 2004

The SUPERHERO..



Let's get into serious business..



I was checking my e-mail a few minutes ago when I discovered something REALLY interesting with one of my mails. I read it and felt .... I'll tell you at the very end of the entry.



I've come across ANOTHER SUPERHERO! How astounding is that? He's our VERY own SINGAPORE SUPERHERO!



Acknowledge him or not? - It's totally up to you. *Grins*



Let me tell you more about him...



He's 28 this year - too old to be a SUPERHERO, don't you think so?



He's height 1.80M. Pretty tall huh? i'm just 1.73M. DAMN IT! He's weight, 78KG.



He likes to play basketball with small kids. Hey, you're a big-bully! He always pushed them down if they tried to get into his way.



He likes to sing; it's his passion. Oh, forgot to add a very crucial information about him. Recently, he auditioned for SINGAPORE IDOL. I bet he made it through the second round. I mean...He's a superhero, the judges have to bow to him!



And OF COURSE, he likes to watch movies with grannies. Preferably, comedies; he wants those grannies to die from laughter so that he can inherit their family fortunes.



Let's move on...



He wants you to print his pictures and make it into posters, glue them to the walls or your wardrobe!



Conclusion: He wants you to have NIGHTMARES or he wants you to FANTASISE HIM when you masturbate.



This is what he claims...



He's HANDSOME!



.....FEARLESS!



HE IS THE PROTECTOR OF LOCAL VILLIANS..




Pssh...He has a girlfriend. So there won't be any opportunity for you girls out there. Hey c`mon....Spiderman has Mary Jane. Batman has catwoman. So why can't he have one?



Okay enough said.



You must be dying to know who he is..



















Alright...I shall reveal..



















He's none other than...





























STEVEN LIM!







Ah`huh! I'm not lying. That's him, your SUPERHERO!



When he's not a SUPERHERO, he's a STREET EYEBROW PLUCKER.



Isn't he handsome?



GRANNY: *Shakes head and peed*



8 Year Old Girl: I want my mummy!! *cry*



Pierre Png: Absolutely SHAMELESS!



Phua Chu Kang: Wha say... SG Superhero leh...Don't pray pray ah!...



Rosy: Oi! Interested in him issit..? Go la... Be with him..



Trista: Thank god he didn't auditioned for being one of the twenty-five bachelors! *Sigh in relieve*



Undertaker: *Choke slam him*







This is him auditioning for SG IDOL...







Steven Lim: hahahah... you're looking at the future idol and that's me.. hahaha. Na ne na ne boo boo... you didn't get to audition. hahahaha.



Vicious. LOOK AT HIM LAUGHING AT YOU AND SAYING THOSE MEAN MEAN THINGS.



OH and check this out..



100 limited sets of HIS special edition glamour shots picture for sale.







8 Year Old Girl: WHERE'S MY MUMMY! I REALLY WANT MY MUMMY! THIS GUY IS PSYCHOTIC!



These 9pcs collection was shot and edited by renown professional model-shot photographer, Vincent.



I really pity VINCENT! WHY MUST YOU TAKE HIS PICTURES!??



I know.. YOU DON'T HAVE TO TORMENT US AFTER WHAT HE DID TO YOU!



This full collection is for sale at SGD$10(free delivery) and includes 9 pcs of my 4R glamour shots pics published by my own registered company, Eyebrowser Trading & Marketing.





Anyone buying? ... I DOUBT SO!



Steven Lim:This is a very good, rare or once in a pink moon kind of collection for people who like/support me. It will also be a good investment too as I have a strong feeling I will become really hot by the end of this year. I will not disappoint my fans.



JUST SHOOT ME!





Ah... one more..







But wait...

Please be prepared.

It's gruesome..













































Steven Lim: I took a pic of myself in my favorite yellow swimming trunks! See! I make it look so good. Gorgeous..hey pls wipe your drool!



8 Year Old Girl: DAMN IT MUMMY! I HATE YOU. You're always not here when I needed you the MOST!





I AM DISGUSTED!



Steven Lim is shameless, an absolute disgrace, period.



What's your view? *winks*



If you want to view more of him, go to http://www.anzwers.org/trade/sghunk1976/sghunkweb.html



I don't see what's good about him..



Signing off,

Shah Rizal Isaac

Friday, July 2, 2004

Love Complication:

The 1st Lover & The Third Party (A Continuation)



Author's Note: No real names were disclosed.



P/S: If you've missed out on Part 1 and 2, scroll down to read them before reading the 3rd part or you will be confused.



You hurt me not once but twice. How can I ever forgive you for that? Ryan thought.



He switched off his mobile phone and tried to erase all the bad memories of the past from his mind. He didn't want to reply back. He didn't want to ponder over and again, tormenting himself. He felt useless, condemned from love.



He thought his ex wasn't like his first. He never knew that much greater pain were inflicted with the latter. But still both of his ex-s were the same kind, two-timers.



Flashback...The first lover, Katherine.



Katherine went into her closet and pulled out a dress bag. Inside was a simple taupe dress. The satin material contrasted beautifully with Katherine's dark hair and eyes. Her ivory complexion seemed brighter in the dress. Katherine smiled and found the jewelry box on her vanity. She slipped the necklace on her neck and nearly gasped at her reflection.



Just then she heard a knock on her door.



Benson had on his tuxedo feeling pretty good about his reflection. With a wink at his mirror who sounded as if it was swooning, Benson made his way downstairs to the Mercedes Benz that would take him and Katherine to the party.



It was silence. That was all Katherine heard when she had opened her door to let Benson in.



He took Katherine's hand and pulled her closer. "You look divine." Smirk in place, Benson cocked his head to one side, puppy dog eyes in place. Katherine could hardly resist, plus, he looked absolutely dashing in his tuxedo, but she would never tell him that. She playfully hit him with her clutch and reached into the hall closet for her cloak.



She slipped on a pair of gloves that matched her dress and clasped on a diamond cuff on her right hand. All her little movements were enchanting.



Katherine was staring into the mirror making final adjustments to her appearance when she caught a sight of Benson leaning against the door frame, his gaze transfixed on her. She smiled a little. She liked how he seemed so peaceful, yet intent while he watched her fix little details. His smile always made her feel warm and loved, his eyes always seemed so icy, yet they were always laughing.



"Ahem." Katherine jumped a bit out of her reverie and turned to face Benson who was holding the door open for her. Katherine adjusted her cloak on her shoulders and stepped out into the hallway and into Benson's arms as he led her to the Mercedes Benz...





Ryan adjusted his bow tie in front of the mirror. He was wearing a black tuxedo and a white silk shirt that matched with his black pants. He looked into the mirror again and smiled to himself. "I hope Katherine would find me dashing."



He then walked away from the mirror and left his house to the party...



The Plaza was spectacular. Benson and Katherine entered the hall where cocktails were being served before the dinner started. Rich red and gold accents sparkled around them.

"The place is fantastic!" Katherine stared wide-eyed at all the sparkling diamonds on the women's necks and wrists.



Her gaze tore away from the jewels to take a look in the ballroom where the band was setting up. She turned to look at Benson who was grinning wildly.



Katherine set down the napkin she was holding and walked towards the bar to get a glass of champagne.



Benson followed suit and leaned against the bar next to Katherine. "The way you're dressed tonight, you definitely fit in with all the grandeur." Katherine blushed a bit.

Katherine sipped her champagne and quietly watched the people around her.



Katherine stepped back, grabbed hold of Benson's arm, and dragged him into the ballroom where dinner was about to be served. He and Katherine entered the ballroom to find their table. Once they were seated, they sat in silence, gazing at each other's eyes.



Dinner was served and Benson and Katherine spent most of the evening talking to the people at their table. The big clock that was set up showed that it was 11:40 p.m., just moments before midnight.



The band leader struck up a slower song as couples walked towards the dance floor. Benson made his way through the crowd with Katherine. He held out his hand and led her to the middle of the dance floor. They danced to the music before either spoke.



Katherine playfully swatted him on his back as they twirled around the dance floor, acting much sillier than anyone around them. They each took turns dipping each other. Katherine was back in Benson's arms, her head resting on his shoulder. "I really want to thank you for taking me out tonight."



Benson lifted her chin so that she was facing him. "Don't be daft. The next New Year's eve, if neither of us is with anybody, you've got me to spend it with."



Katherine put her cheek against Benson's.



Benson didn't know why he felt complete at that very moment. He felt so in love.



"Katherine..." he whispered.



She looked up and looked into Benson's eyes. "Yes?"



Benson gave a peck on her cheek and whispered into her ears, "I'm beginning to like you."



Katherine kept quiet and just stared at Benson for a while and then pressed her lips against Benson's with her eyes closed. Benson's eyes were wide opened, shocked by Katherine's sudden movement.



He kissed her back, and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him.

Amidst the crowds, stood Ryan looking at Katherine and Benson who were ever so close, kissing each other. He stood there very still, looking at them.



Now I understand. I perfectly understand. You weren't keen in me ever since the day you knew my best friend, Benson, Reeves thought. You hardly went out with me and find excuses whenever I asked you out. And today, you had promised me that you'll be with me, but I'm really so wrong.



The song stopped playing, and the band leader turned around to face the crowd, "Ten seconds till New Year!"



...Ten...nine....eight....



Ryan looked away from them and walked away, broken-hearted.



...Six.....five....four...three...two...ONE...Happy New Year!!! "Auld Lange Syne." The band began to play as the people in the party hugged and kissed in celebration of the New Year.



Tears rolled down Reeves's cheeks. He sighed and looked up through the huge skylight at the night sky. Suddenly a shooting star shot passed the skylight. Then he lowered his gaze.



Seconds later, he heard a boom, and he gazed up again through the large skylight to watch the fireworks which exploded in reds, greens, and many other colors.



To be continued...



*****



Previously...



Love Complication (Part 2)



Author's Note: No real names were disclosed.



Ryan clicked on new text message and typed, 'I ...' And then he paused and stared blankly at his cell phone. His mind was totally blank and he was so still as a mannequin.



'Ding Dong'



He snapped and heard the bus stopping buzzer being pressed. He erased the texts he had typed and flipped closed his cell phone. He then tossed his cell phone into his crumpler sling bag and looked out of the window.



I know I don't have any more feelings for my ex-lover, he re-assured himself.He took a few deep breath and then took out his cell phone from his sling bag. He flipped it open and texted, 'I miss you... but only as a friend.' and sent to his ex-lover.



A few minutes later...



Ryan waited for his godsister, Jane and her friends at Dhoby Ghaut MRT Station. Till now, he had yet to receive any messages from his ex-lover. Somehow, he got a little upset over it. 'Why am I feeling this way,' he thought.



A soft breeze brushed against his face and ruffled his hair. 'Why...' he said softly.

And then he remembered the past, the times when he was still together with his ex-lover. They shared weals and woes, joy and pain, tears and laughter together.



Flashback...



Valentine's Day...



'I'm going to bring you to some place special, a place where we will remember forever,' he whispered to his ex-lover and then planted a soft kiss on his ex-lover's left cheek.



'We're nearly there,' Ryan said.



He held his ex-lover's hand and ran toward the place that they were heading to. In split seconds, there were finally there. His ex-lover was suprised for the fact that Ryan remembered the memorial was a place his ex-lover would love to visit. Ryan was attentive to everything his ex-lover said as he really love his ex-lover alot.



The memorial located in the middle of the CBD area, surrounded by the tall buildings but the place; the memorial, was eventually so serene, just perfect for the two of them.



His ex-lover was touched.



Ryan grabbed his ex-lover by the arms and wiped his ex-lover's tears from the cheeks, 'You're born with a beautiful, angelic face and a magnanimous heart. I love you so much. I want to be with you forever...I want to spend the rest of my life...with you.'



Then he kissed his ex-lover's forehead and went down on one of his knee in front of the memorial under the beautiful full moon and facing his ex-lover. Everything was perfect. The skies were glittering with stars, the wind was breezy and the place was so quiet that they could hear the wind whispering to their ears.



His ex-lover was taken aback; shocked. And then Ryan reached out for his ex-lover's hand and took out a small box from his pocket.



'I, Ryan will love you with all my heart and never part with you. I promise to take care of you, to love you even more and want you to be part of my life,' he said.



Ryan opened the box and took out a ring...and slipped into his ex-lover's fourth finger. He looked up and smiled. ' I love you,' he said.



He got up and hugged his ex-lover tightly...



'Oi! Ryan!' someone shouted.



He snapped out of his reverie and looked up. He saw Jane and her friends from afar. He walked toward them but suddenly his cell phone beeped. He stopped walking and flipped open his cell phone.



'I'm waiting for you...'



*****



Previously...



Love Complications



Author's Note: No real names were disclosed.



Ryan took a deep breath and closed his eyes real tight but tears has already started to fall from his eyes, rolling down his cheeks. He covered his face with his pillows and screamed to the top of his lungs.



Ryan thought it was all over for him and his ex-lover; forgetting the past and moving on but the least he had expected, his ex-lover has returned from a school trip to Myanmar.



*Beep*



He grabbed his cell phone and flipped it open. It read, 'Hi...I just returned from Myanmar. I... love you, dear.' He scrolled down. Sender; ex-lover.



His mind was in confusion, his heart was in a flustered. It was a total-wrecked for Ryan. He tossed his cell phone to the wall and it landed on the mattress. He was forcing his tears back but it slowly flowed down from his eyes.



Why did his heart ached terribly? Did he still missed his ex-lover or was his wounds were still not healed? That was the few questions that were racing across his mind. He sucked the air deeply; trying to calm himself down.



Try to get some sleep Ryan, he thought. He relaxed his tensed muscle and forced out all the memories of the past out of his mind. And finally, he fell asleep...



The Next Day



Ryan switched on his laptop and log on to his e-mail and MSN Messenger. Then, his cell phone rang. He looked all over frantically for his cell phone but he just couldn't find it. And then he remembered it was still in his room. The last thing he remembered was throwing his cell phone to the wall.



But fortunately, it's still working. He rushed to his room and grabbed his cell phone. He fliiped his cell phone - Caller: Jane (Ryan's godsister). For a moment, he felt disappointed. Was he expecting for his ex-lover's call? Is he still in love with his ex-lover?



He pressed the ANSWER button, 'hello...'



3:00PM



He shut his house door behind him and went door the stairs. He glanced at his watch and pondered,'Will I be late yet again.' He boarded the bus and sat down at the upper deck. I'll take a short nap before reaching my destination, he thought.



*Beep*



Incoming Message. He flipped his cell phone and read, 'Hi, I'm going for my laps now.' He smiled and replied back the sender, Z. Each time he received messages from Z, he felt elated. Z would always brightens up his day.



And then he received another message. That was fast of Z to text back a message to me, I thought. His smile was completely wiped off upon reading the message. 'Dear, I miss you. Do you miss me?'



He clicked on new text message and typed, 'I ...'



To Be Continued...



Signing Off,

Shah Rizal Isaac