Self-Reflections

For the past few days, I've been true to myself, well at least for most of the occasions. I forfeited this certain competition I was shortlisted for as I wasn't true to myself. For the past year, I wasn't sure what I was looking for. I was always lead to the wrong path.

I was always greedy for fame and popularity and then I slowly lose friends that were true to me. I neglected those who wanted to spend time with me. I was not me for the past year. I wasn't the same Isaac two years ago; true and honest.

I wanted fame so much that it ruled my mind. I started changing into a different person. I started to drink. I used to hate the smell and taste of beer but now, they're like nothing to me.

I wasn't an avid clubber. Correction, I wasn't even a clubber to begin with but then, I started going to different clubs on every weekends. How scary is that?

It's so wrong, so so wrong. What has gotten into me?

Yes, I realized all those scary shit I did but now.. it's time.

Now, I realized what's important, what I really believe is important to me are friends, family and my love ones. I'll tone down. I'll start to be me like two years ago. Let me go back to basics.

How could I be so stupid to let go of a few of my good friends.

I didn't realize all this till one of my closest friend was admitted to the hospital last week. I was so numb, I broke down.

"Hey, your friend is in ICU. He's involved in a car accident. He's girlfriend is safe but not him."

Those words penetrated my heart.

I guess you will only start appreciating those you once let go wholeheartedly after a few deadly blows bestowed upon you.

It took me two hours to get there. I stood, probably looked ever so calm to those there but deep down, I was shivering, "Will he make it? I want to see him. I need to see him..."

The light went off and there they pushed him out.

"He's stabilized."

Upon hearing those words, I was relieved. I stayed for a couple of hours before I left, I wrote a note and placed it next to his pillow, "I'm sorry my dearest friend. You're the best. You're always there for me but I slowly neglected you, slowly erasing you from my mind. My bad. I hope you forgive me."

I leaned forward and whispered, "I'm sorry" and left.

I'm treasuring everyone else around me.



Sometimes, you really need a hard knock to your senses before you realizes the ongoings in life.