Everyone has a fear of their own - fear of heights, claustrophobia, fear of seeing gruesome events or stuffs, fear of insects or bugs, fear of failing, and many more. Eventually, I have a fear - and that is fear of failing; in life. There's a saying; 'At one point of your life, you are bound to tumble down and fail, and you will feel helpless, unsure of what to do and what to expect next. But if you do tumble from the highest peak of your life, don't feel despair, get up and start afresh, start all over again. Get back up to your feet. Yeah, its pretty easy when you say instead of doing it. There was one point of my life; that was when i was 17 years old, my world came tumbling down, shattered and destroyed.

{flashbacks} I was in Secondary 5(Normal Academics). It was the first day of school, i thought I could cope with my studies but... Everything went well for the first two weeks but as days pass by, the topics became tougher, epecially for math. I began to skip math lessons every now and then. Began to drift away from my studies; my heart and soul weren't there anymore. But I couldn't keep on skipping classes and unfortunately one fine day, my form teacher took noticed of the days which i hadn't come to school and that's only when there's math lesson on that day. I tried to attend each and every math lessons, and finally I really did. The math teacher gave motivational talk to me; she inspired me to work hard and I did. In Mid-May, we had do to our final project for design and technology. The theme was moving objects. I did a crumb collector. I wasn't that keen in making one but I did with the help from my workshop's teachers. It has been tough for me for the first half of that year. After June school break, I thought everything will be much easier for me...but no. Pressure pressure and more pressure. I was choked with homeworks, tests and exams. I was going to break down but being strong-willed, I tried to suppress my emotions. My final year exam as approaching - it was in November. Before that, we had our prom night! Even before the prom night, something happened. One controversy. My best friend didn't really betrayed me but they ditched me when I'm already useless to them. My best friend, A, scheme a cunning end for his nemesis, K. I was in cahoots with him together with our the other best friend, L. We slowly tortured K emotionally and mentally but not physically each day. Till to a point when I accidentally left a trace behind. A, my best friend cum the mastermind, couldn't do anything. I was trapped. I had nowhere to run. And then, my good reputation was tarnished. One by one of my classmates began to turn away from me. ONly a few left stood by me. It was terrible, it was one of my lowest point of my life and my GCE 'O' Level examinations was around the corner. Pressurized by studies. I didn't perform well for my 'O's especially when I was doing my math's papers. Darn, I couldn''t even think right, let alone focus. Three months passed and it was time for me to collect my GCE 'O' Level results slip. I was anxious and hoping I would pass my math. As I approached my form teacher, I had the confidence, - maybe i did pass my math. But my confidence was shattered into a million pieces. I failed - F9! No more poly for me! - That was my first thought that came across my mind. I looked at my best friend, A,; he was rejoicing over his success while as for me I was totally crushed. I didn't approach them, instead I exit myself from the other route and went to my void deck. I look at the result slips and finally, I broke down, I cried. {flashbacks}

But now, all of the past is now memories to me. I ain't sure why but I am still friends with my best friend. They always thought I was a quiet, soft-hearted who can be stepped on, those kind and caring person who is willing to do anything and whatever they want me to. But no way, they don't know what I am capable of yet. I can be scheming, cunning, two-face kind of guy. It's just that I don't show them out of me. It's not really me. But if they do push my 'anger' button, then a controversy will start. Now, it seems to me that my classmates are okay with me now since they had added me to their friendster's friends list. :p



Happy-O-Meter: 3.1/5

Level Of Happiness: 58%