Something New Will Do Me Some Good

YAY! I changed my blog template already.

After seeing the template for a year, its time to change it.

It may not be the nicest template but it is simple. That's why I like it.

New change;

- blog entries that are not of twitter style.
- scrap twitter account.
- blog entry must be of relevance to me.
- New me; improved both in personal and love life.

Wah, its like I have been reincarnated or something.

Everything Ends Well & THE Fresh Start

My other halff stayed by my side when I was sick. My other half even overnight with me at the hospital. My other half cleaned me up after I puked. My other half helped me to the toilet. My other half felt my pain and sadness. My other half cried with me.

My other half bought fish soup for me durong my recovery stage. My other half visited me at home when I was recovering. My other half bought me the food that I was craving for.

When my grandmother passed away, my other half consoled me. My other half visited me again to console me and to see if I was coping well with my grandmother's death.

My other half was always there for me.

I shouldn't think of the worst even if only one mistake was made. And that was a minor one. My other half loves to drink. I can't stop my other half.

If that's one thing that can de-stress my other, so be it.

But there's a fine line between drinking and appreciating wine and drinking too much.

Like Miss. Jo said to me, "I love wines. I appreaciate wines. But drinking too much is not appreciating anymore. Its going overboard."

So baby, I know you love wines and appreciates wines but when you drink, drink in moderation and not always get yourself high."

You want to go out with your friends, CAN.

You want to stay out late till 1 or 2, CAN.

You want to drink, CAN.

But when you do all these things, please remember me and what I've said. Do them in moderation.

I love you and I know you love me more than I love you.

I hope today, July 20 will be a brand new start for us though we already patched back yesterday.

No more quarrels. NO MORE.

I love you!

The Brilliance Of The World

I'm slowly losing myself to the world. I feel like I am being judge for everything I do. The misconception, the wrong judgements. Its getting a little tired. I just wonder where these people get their energy from. Maybe they are feeding from me. Nevertheless, it has been a good start but its not superbly great yet since there are still minor hiccups.

Just today, I realized I am losing myself, from today onwards, I'll try to be more understanding to everyone. I want to be more loving to my significant other. I want my baby to feel really really loved. I have a good life but I am hoping for a better life.

Maybe I wasn't hoping enough. When the new year approached, I dismissed it like any other year. Repeated cycle. but now I realized I shouldn't think that way I need to be strict with myself. I made resolutions, I need to fulfil them.

I need to be me again, not the last year me or the me two years before but the me when I was a child, when I wasn't yet misled by this everchanging world. From today onwards, there will not be any more of the fickle-minded- sore-loser-attention-seeker Issac. I shall not be bothered by my detractors and most importantly to love my family and my baby whole-heartedly.

Is it worth it to spend so much to look good just to make people envy? So what if they feel envious? Will they feel envious forever? You spend so much to look good and make them envy but in the long run. you will be the one suffering.

They will be saving up and buy more practical things like a house. Whereas you spend on clothes, not ordinary but expensive clothes. At this rate you won't get to save enough to even buy a house when you're older. So I shall start saving from this point onward. Yeah I know, action speak louder then words. I really have to save up because I want to buy a beautiful studio apartment in the near future.

This is my first time having a planner. For the past few years, I don't have a planner of my own but now I do. I think it is a must to have a planner because then you will know when your next scheduled appointment will be.






You can joint down important dates, keep notes or even write a short journal of what happened on the day. My planner is as neat as me. I am meticulous and neat person and this is the first time, I'm letting you guys see raw material; my handwriting.

Some say that my handwriting is so small that they need to look hard to be able to read them. Some say my handwriting is super neat that I need not need to use a ruler to have the sentances written in a straight line even without the lining on the book.

Let's start anew. I know this is like so retarded to start anew 14 days after the new year but hey it's still in the first month of the year. Still can, okay?

Working Towards The New Me

I am working with what I have now. I am working with who I am with now. No more playing around. Don't expect to see me on friendster or irc anymore. Anyway, I'm too busy to do that nowadays.

I have a job which is keeping me busy from 9 to 7 in the evening and I will only be back home at 9 at night because of the travelling time; 1 hour. Then at night, I have to blog because it's become part of me.

And I have yet to unpack my stuffs yet.

Busy me does not allow myself to do stupid things.

Busy me decided to be a change me. I want to earnt more money for myself and my family and my love ones. I must work towards my goal. Lindsay Lohan is already recovering from her episodes. So will I.

But even when you recover from the episodes, people will still expect the same thing from you, people will still expect the same negativity coming out from you. So even when you are sparkling new, people will still think you of someone dusty and rusty.

Nevertheless, I'm working things out. I'm hanging out with the friends who won't lead me astray. I am sticking with friends who don't club so that they won't have an influence of me to club.

I am happy that I am 4 months sober and 3 months of not clubbing.

New Blog Skin; New And Better Life

It took me 6 hours to transfer everything from my previous template to my new template. And I had to do damage-control on my blog too. for the past few days, my blog has been really laggy so I had to remove a few of the unncessary stuffs on my blog.

Now it's much better.

With a new template, I thought probably I will have a new lease of life. I've got what I wanted.

I will be moving to my new home really soon. I have not yet view my new home but whatever it looks like, I will love it and I have to adapt to the new environment fast.

I have a new job which really excites me alot because its a whole new environment. I can't slack anymore like the way I used to be in army.

I have developed more trust and bond with my close friends.

I have a new I-Pod Nano, Mp4 player and Motorola handphone. These gadgets will keep me busy. They're worth buying. I have to admit I'm not good at dressing up. It's not my forte. I accepted it. I'm happy with who and what I've become today.

I am going to have my love life back.

Everything's finally going well for me except for one lunatic who calls me so often I thought he is a psychotic guy run lose from the stable.

Dreams; They Come True. What Say You?

Have you ever had dreams that come true? And it's like everytime you dream, the next day, or maybe week, it just come true. It's scary. It's more frightening to me because 9 out of 10 of my dreams actually come true.

It's like I have to be prepared, mentally and spiritually.

A few of the dreams which I dreamt and eventually came true;

I was jogging in the park and saw a little boy, his face was blurred, beating a kitten to death with a stick. And the next day, when I was jogging in the afternoon, I saw a little boy with a stick somewhat approaching the bushes.

I heard mewing coming from in the bushes. Surprised I was when I saw a little kitten there and the boy who was with a stick was approaching the kitten and like in the dream, I believe he was going to beat the kitten to death.

He squated and raised his stick.

I shouted at him. He noticed and ran away.

I ran towards the kitten and saw it's legs were trapped. I freed it and let it roam by itself at a more spacious and less dangerous place, the plain field.

A few weeks later, I dreamt that I had won myself a pair of movie tickets but was unsure what movie it was.

Eventually, a few weeks later, I received two pair of tickets to the movie, 881.

These are just two examples from all the many dreams I had and came true.

So let's move on to a recent dream I had this year, June.

I had this dream, a dream forseeing myself a year later on June 18 or 19. It was so vivid. I could remember clearly where I was, what I was doing and who I were with.

I was having a grand celebration, predictably my birthday because I saw a cake in my dream, and people were shaking my hands as if congratulating me.

Then I moved forward and hugged someone. Just someone. So weird. Because we kissed and it felt so real. That person is of the same height as me and wore black on that day.

And the person whispered, "Happy birthday dear."

Then the dream fast forwarded itself to the later future, like 2010 or 2012, I'm not too sure either. But what I was certain, I married the person who was at my birthday.

Somehow, I felt whoever the person who appeared in my dream was my last and final significant other.

The next day, I messaged my three closes friends, Jaishree, Rodney and Aldo to regards of the dream.

Jaishree's response, " If it was me, I'll think I will keep that dream in mind but not to be too obsessed with it. Because sometimes such dreams can just means that maybe your love life now is dull and you need some excitement, thus another person appears."

She continued, "I think you should cherish what you have now even if that person may not be the one eventually. At least when you look back, you have fond memories of it and know that you did try your best in that relationship."

Rodney, "It shows other stuff. Dreams are a mirror of your subconscious thinking. Things you fear and worried or even believed or want most. And it is shown to you in different forms. It is not a premonition. By understanding your dreams, you understand yourself more."

Aldo, "A dream is just a dream. If you are having a relationship now, try to make it work unless if it's too screwed up. I would not let dreams affect my decisions."

Two months later, on August 28, I had a dream, a horrible dream. I was in a cab on the expressway and abruptly, the next moment I saw huge flame of fire.

I saw death. Am I going to die. Can I stop the inevitable? I should start treasuring people more now and be more loving to those I love.I'll try my best to be a new person with personality and more love.

What say you? Do you think dreams can come true?

The Start

I thought, maybe, after all the bad luck that has been polluting my life, it's time to get rid all those bad luck by doing good.

So that I will get a good charmed life and romance in love.

22nd July 2007, 1800 hours.

The Past Erased, The Present Begins

Fuck you Yahn. Oh, I feel so good. Hey bitch, you lost my discman and I let go of it. I'm going to shred your vest into pieces. I'll feel good that way. *Smiles*

And no, I've not been visiting my blog. Though I have not been reading, my readers are. Stop acting childishly la can? I didn't write about you already. Such a childish bitch. Well, hope you read this entry, because losing you as a friend is the best thing I've ever done.

Yahn sucks. Yahn sucks!

Yesterday, I had a good talk with Sun Jing. Thank you Sun Jing. I felt different. I felt that I needed to open up a bit more and stop being someone I am not.

Oh, thanks dear! I was so lost today without my atm card and ez-link with me. I only realized that I did not have those two in my wallet when I reached home. I have to scramble my way to my house to get some cash to pay the cab driver.

And I was thinking how am I suppose to go back to camp without cash?

My dear came all the way from work and bought me nasi lemak and gave me 10 dollars. It was really unexpected. I think I took my significant other for granted. I think I am not showering enough love for my dear.

I've neglected people whom I used to be with, my close friends. It's time to unto my mistakes. Today, 04/07/07, 4p.m, I shall make it clear to everybody, I am a new me.

May You Rest In Peace

My best friend who is studying at Australia has just passed away. No words can describe what I'm feeling now.

I've known her for 9 years and she's gone without saying goodbye!

My handphone rang and there I heard a familiar voice. It was Emilia's. My best friend's mum. Oh, in any case, my best friend's Emily.

I am now very heart-broken. It make me realize that I've been so rebellious. It make me realize that I don't really treasure people.

I need to start being a good boy and start treasuring those I love. I should start not hurting them already.

I, hereby announce that today, June 25, 6.50p.m, I shall treasure everyone around me, even my ex-best friends and enemies. There's no point in hating anyone.

I love you Emily. I apologize for not coming to see you for the last time. May you rest in peace.

Back In A Relationship Again

I broke up like a week ago but I just couldn't let go of my significant other. I thought there will still be hope.

I was upset for the fact that we have so much understandings but with that one week of being single, I focused on how to improve myself. I focused on how I should accomodate to my significant other's feeling.

Yesterday, 24th June, 8p.m, we asked each other again if we wanted each other back again. It seems that both of us still want each other back.

Things Come To An End

My life isn't all that perfect. Yes, I may be buying so many clothes, staying at so many hotels, spending my money like some rich boy. And with family, friends and significant other supporting me.

Here's the thing, things aren't that perfect afterall.

Throughout my 22 years of life, I have made alot of enemies and losing friends along the way. It saddens me sometimes to know that I can't really be a good friend.

It's sad that I'm feeling sad for myself. Why is life playing a big joke on me? People, my enemies, often, say to me, "Hope you get your just deserve."

I'm getting it now.

I'm losing my friends. Things doesn't go the way I wanted it to be. People are standing up on me. Their every mood swings will affect my every decisions. And having my significant trusting outsiders rather than trusting me instead.

Having to stand in the rain yesterday night and today morning woke up my senses.

I don't wish to lose any more people.

I just realized something really saddening. My phone contact list is full. I can't save anymore numbers.

"Are you trying to tell us you have many friends, Issac?" you may ask.

Yes, I have like 400 contacts in my handphone but how many do bother to call me to ask of my well-being? How many friends are my confidant? Sadly, I can count them with only both my hands.

My friend once said before he went overseas to study, "One friend is equal to having 10 friends. It doesn't really mean anything if you have hundreds and hudreds of friends. You know why? It's because they are just merely friends, Hi-Bye friends, friends that barely talk to you."

He continued, "You have so many friends, how can you manage to dedicate all your time to all of them? They won't be your close friends. They won't be your genuine friends. They will go eventually. Your rapport with them are not strong because you have so many to entertain."

"Having one is equal to having 10 friends. He can listen to you. He can be there for you when you are in trouble. He's your confidant."

"Now tell me, how many actually know you well, paid attention to your ramblings? How many knows when your birthday is?"

Let's end it here. No more silly things from me. I shall treasure those I have now. With all this coming to an end, a new chapter will begin. My new lease of life. I know what I want to be. I don't have to tell you all. Watch and read.

I must know what I want in life. I want to be more down-to-earth. I want to make friends and not lose any. To tell more truth than to tell lies to hurt others!

Call me Issac no more. Call me Riley. Riley Ritz. So it will be Issac Riley Ritz.

This Is Me. I Am Me. Issac Ritz

I've been really really busy and I have noticed that I am neglecting my significant other and my family members. There's so many people to celebrate my birthday with but I have so little time. Sometimes I wonder how I wish there is two of me.

Well, I know, over and over again, I wanted to start anew. I wanted to dedicate most of my time to my family and significant other. And over and over again, I've been emphasising on treating them well.

Well, seriously, this time, for the last time, I shall prove myself again that I will start anew. Starting from now, 10th June 2007, -erm- 10P.M, I shall be the new Issac.

Surprise, Surprise.

I nearly died again. Touchwood. I shouldn't use the word die on my birthday but I got a shocker when I saw a huge jump in the number of people visiting my blog today. It's not even half the day but I already have 5600 (unique) readers.

Usually at this hour, I would only have, the most, 3900 readers. Even my enemies are reading my blog. How I know? Thanks to statscounter.com. Haha! I like know who visited my blog, and which website they came from, how many times they clicked my page and what time they arrived.

How cool is that?

At this very hour, 1.55p.m, 3rd June 2007, I'm going to live a very honest life. Haha. Not like I've not been living an honest life before but I did alot and I mean ALOT of bad things in the past 21 years. I'm 22 already, I should be more mature and understanding towards people especially the people I care for the most.

And of course, being 22, I shall be more independent and I shall start saving more and I shall start to be more loving towards my significant other.

P/S: I know this is like so yesterday but I would like to remind a particular someone that he initiated the break up in our friendship. In response, I agreed to it. So if you are saying the best way to break friendship with him is before his birthday and if you think it makes me miserable, my answer is no.

Our friendship ended 2 weeks ago. And I wasn't childish to hang up you phone just like that. It wasn't being childish. It was being frustrated to cajole you every single time you are sad and unhappy and mad and in the end, things that I said you assumed they are not true.

Everything Well's Again

The intense quarrelings. I was at losing end. For the first, I felt lost and tired. I thought it would be okay. Three consecutive days of arguments. Our relationship worsened.

Someone help us please.

Then, I slowly started to analyse my relationship with my significant other. I realized that I have been the one who's really demanding and my significant other has been giving in all the time.

What's the point of having argument always?

Let's have peace. Let's not quarrel anymore.

Yesterday, we finally saw the sun after the storm.

I decided to be more toned down and give in more to my significant other because my significant other is my precious jewel.

I saw the fairyland once more. The relationship was revived back yesterday, 26/05/07 at 1145p.m.

Sunshine After The Rain

I was sick for the past 1 week and 1 day and finally today, I am fully recovered. Like I said, after a really long period of being sick and when you are fully recovered, it's like being the new you.

I feel different. I felt as if I was being ressurected back.

No more lies. No more deceits. No more being so playful.

I'm going to be 22 soon ...

..and I demand birthday presents from you guys! Haha!

I will be a new me. I promise to do my best in everything including sex. I'll make it raunchier. I'll promise to love my significant other wholeheartedly. I promise to buy more of Ayumi Hamasaki CDs.

So I want to apologize to anyone who are willing to forgive me. I apologize to anyone who I have stepped onto. I apologize for whatever nasty things I said in the past.

But if you all still hate me, then I still have to hate you lah! Haha!

I'm So Sick

If I can kill myself, I would have done it since Monday. I fell really ill last Monday having to endure the pain while doing my live firing. The first day, I'd vomitted more than 10 times. It was excruciating.

For the past few days, I've been popping so many pills into my mouth but I'm recovering really slowly. I've been going to the toilet many times. It was an all time high for me yesterday visiting the toilet more than 18 times.

I want to rest. Shoo! Don't disturb me!

I figured, you know they always say you begin your new life after being sick for quite a while.

I'm recovering. Is this my new beginning? Is this like, hey, I'm the new Issac?

Let's start anew from here onwards.

Losing a friend doesn't necessarily means I am losing the whole world. Sometimes when you lose some things, you will gain another.

But two things I would not want to lose are my family members and my significant other.

I know, it's been a long time since I mentioned my significant other but I just want to keep certain things private.

From today onwards, I will treat my significant other with a huge amount of TLC(Tender Loving Care). From this day onwards, we shall not quarrel anymore. From this day onwards, we shall love each other wholeheartedly.

I heart heart my significant other.


Scrabble anyone? More on it on the next entry.

Renewed In A Much Possible Way

I don't think most of you will understand what I write in this entry because it's something personal and only I will understand.

It took quite a while for me to really understand everything. Fate has been cruel to me but now not anymore. People hated me for who I am or was. It's different now.

Today, 3rd of May, 4p.m, I shall be a more loving, caring and gossip-free person. Cheers!

The Greatest Gifts

Yesterday, I had a busy day. From rushing to different places to finding a pair of beautiful rings to getting the nicest-smelling perfume. I went to four different places.

I had to make a visit at Arab Street to buy dinner for my other half. I bought the famous Arab Street Murtabak. Absolutely delicious. Service; good. Efficiency; fabulous. I alighted from the cab and like in 2 minutes after ordering, my murtabak was ready, still piping hot.

How amazing was that?

Then I boarded the same cab and sped to Millenia Walk to buy rings. It was 9 and I feared for the worst; the shop closed. I told the driver to wait for me while I buy the rings. I ran like one mad man to this shop name Moshi Moshi but it was already close, technically.

The shutters were halfway closed and I saw the sales assistant counting money. I knocked on the shutter and asked her if I could still buy the rings.

She stared at me and asked me to go away. What the fuck?

That was really rude of her. She could have said in a nice manner, "I'm sorry, sir. We're closed."

Then I rushed to the 2nd destination; the perfume shop which is located at Millenia Walk too.

I bought the nicest-smelling perfume there ever is.

With much probing and questioning, my other half knew the perfume's price. It's ranging from 100 - 150 dollars.

Then I boarded the cab again and told the driver to get me to Suntec City. and that's where I bought my rings.

Thankfully, the shop wasn't closed yet. Muahaha!

The sales assistant was really nice; from having to tell me which rings were nice to being patient with me. But she always make really really funny expressions on her face.

The rings; 130 - 200 dollars.

You; My One And Only

Yesterday, I went out of control. I was raged because I was sick in the stomach. I kept vomitting. Yahn, you crazy horse! He let me drink Long Island Tea which was like a very strong alcohol and a not-so-good-drinker like me had to drink half of the glass.

I puked so many times; toilet, street, table etc. I wasn't with my significant other. It was Chinese New Year and of course, I wouldnt want my significant other to spent the time clubbing. I asked my significant other to go home.

When morning came, I was already so tired and sick. I could not think well. I called my significant other many times even when I know my significant other would not pick up since it was still so early in the morning and nobody would wake up that early.

Minutes after calling, my significant other called me back and asked about my well-being. I, on the other hand, feeling so sick, threw my tantrums on my significant other, even hurling vulgarities like the F word to my significant other.

I was touched that despite all those hurting words, my significant other still maintained the composure. I cried knowing that my significant other cared for me so much. I felt bad. I felt as if I've let myself down. I felt that I've let my significant other down.

Now, I shall write this entry promising my significant other that I would not drink anymore. I would not scold or hurl vulgarities at you again. I felt guilty that I scolded you during Chinese New Year.

This entry shall remind me of all the stupid things I've done so that I won't repeat the same mistakes. I promise myself that I will only club with you and my close friends, Yahn and Aldo. Apart from that, I will not anyhow go to clubs.

Because I am in love with you.

Because I already have you. You are my one and only.

Everything's Normal Again

After two weeks of turmoil at home, everything finally went back to normal today. Tired I was with this cherade but just today it all ended. Was it for the better? Yes. Absolutely yes. If most of you don't know yet, I kind of like 'run away from home'.

I had to confide in Jaishree, take refuge at Aldo's house, seek advices from Jeff, and get company from Yahn. These mentioned people are those who will always be there for me. They are what I consider as true friends.

The two entries pertaining my personal life has created worries among all my friends. My phone kept on beeping. At the end of each day, I would be like receiving a whooping 45 - 75 messages. That's alot I must say.

You know, I'm a stubborn guy. I won't give in readily.

I told myself that as long as my mum or dad message me to ask me to go home, I'll obediently go home. If not, I'll stay put outside.

It was really tiring for me for the past two weeks because I have not been sleeping well. I had to sleep at places that I wasn't comfortable to sleep at.

But now, I am at my comfy home.

I fucking love my bed!