Still Having Bad Luck

This is insane. I'm still having bad luck even in the new year. Why? Spare me from all this insanity because I'm going bonkers soon. This amount of stress might just kill me. I'm already sick and to top off all that, my parents driving me crazy, I'm 'cashless' and soon you'll be hearing on the newspaper, "Isaac's admitted to the Institute of Mental Health."

Evil twin, "Why would they even want to put you in the papers? You think you who? Zoe Tay ah?"

I thought the only bad luck I had was the food poisoning at the beginning of the year. But soon after, I was thrown off-course from having to worry that I might flung my ATEC tests, worry that I might flung my medic tests, and to have sore throat constantly.

Having not to have a rank sewed on my number four because I still have not passed my IPPT is really stressful. Is not likeI'm not trying my best but I am really weak at my chin-up station. I always thought I'm a letdown to my officer.

But thank god, he's no pushover and he's kind. I'm trying and will keep trying to pass for myself and for my officer. It's really an embarrassment to be the lowest ranking medic in the batallion. Yeah, whatever.

Evil twin, "You're pouring out all your feelings. You're not afraid they might know your true feelings?"

I had enough of shrouding my real personalities from people. I always behave as if I am a happy person but I am not. A few don't understand me well. They can't judge me or say thing about me since they do not know me well.

I'm not gossip-free but who cares.

People tell me that I'm not putting my 100 percent effort in everything I do. So wrong! So so wrong! You fuckers don't know that I will put all my effort if I think it's worth it. I'm not lazy. I just think that certain things I don't need to do at all.

Evil twin, "Wow, you sure get alot of hate mail after this."

I already have. So what if you bombarded me with nasty e-mails? Do you think I care?

Evil twin, "I think you care if not you would not have blog about it."

I'm trying my best to repair the damages I've done. But everytime when I thought I've put things in place, they start to fall apart again. It's like my life is damned. It's like I'm cursed. I'm still feeling sick now while writing this entry.

This sucks. But I'm thankful that I've friends that are supportive of my every decisions. I'm grateful that my signifcant other is always there for me. I'm grateful that I have friends that would lend their helping hand.

I'm a big boy. I don't cry anymore. What stills hold me on is the strong support I have from my significant other, my godbrothers and my friends.