Unlocking The Heart

I wondered if ever my friends will get tired of listening to my ramblings. I've been confiding in them, telling how I feel and what's been bothering me and they have always been my listening ears.

Then again I thought that they will get bored of my stupid whinings and blow their heads off anytime soon. I can't always go to them whenever I have problems or when I have something to whine about.

That is why I have a blog. And a blog is suppose to let me write all my personal feelings down. But nowadays, you hardly see me whine, instead I showed the surface me. I showed the side of me who would always want to please others and feel miserable for myself.

I guess this will be the most honest entry I am going to write.

To think of it, I'm suppose to blog about my feelings. I have been bottling up inside me that I believe if I don't let them out, I'm going to have a breakdown.

As I'm writing this entry, I felt happier that I don't have to put a mask on anymore.

Oh before I continue, I want to wish a Happy 2nd month anniversary to my beloved honey.

Somehow I feel neglected. But then again, I can't really complain. I want to make this a perfect relationship. This is one of those relationships that I think can go far and this is one of those which I think I've been really really honest of.

We discussed our problems. We don't hide our feelings. We don't have masks on.

But the only thing that is bothering me is that will we have time for each other? Or should I say would you set aside a little more time for me?

I'm not complaining nor asking too much from you. (P/S: I'm not pissed. I'm not upset or disappointed.)

I've given you ample of space to breathe. I only book out once a week and only have half my friday till Sunday to spend. Let's say if you have extra cirriculum on Friday, I have only Saturday and Sunday to spend time with you. And if you were to meet up with your friends on Saturday or Sunday, I'll only have a day with you. Or maybe, I can't spend the weekends with you at all if I have plans with my family.

But after some considerations, we have our own life and friends. You can't always be spending time with me every week. And you'll wonder, "What about my friends? Will I ever have the time to spend with them?"

Then I realized it's not about the amount of time we spend together but the quality of our meeting.

A couple can spend the whole of Saturday together but if they quarrel or do meaningless stuff on their date, then they've just wasted a perfect day.

A couple can spend just two hours of seeing each other but if they make up for their two hours, having candlelight dinner, holding hands, whispering sweet words to each other, that's what I called quality over time. They will be taking their relationship to the next level.

Still after so much I've said, I love you whole-heartedly.

One thing that really make me sick to the stomach is how people can actually hate someone by only hear hearsays from strangers who claims to know that someone they are going to hate.

These people just poison the thoughts of the innocence. And then they turn evil like them.

Humans. That's how they are.