"Love is like a piece of chocolate. It melts in your mouth and you will go, "Aaaaa yeah aaaa. Give me more, I want more. It is like orgasm," quoted Miss Ruhua.
Five months had passed since I last interviewed her which landed me in the mental institution. Since then I had resume back my post as a journalist and am assigned to interview Miss. Ruhua to regards of her wedding.
I feared that I could land myself in the mental institution again but because of my work ethnics, I decided to brave the storm and take the risks.
Weddings breed a certain type of insanity all their own. Sometimes it's family. Sometimes it's money. Sometimes it's religion. And sometimes, it's the clothes. Hands down, there is no experience in the world quite like shopping for, paying for, and getting fitted for The Dress.
"It's up there with the exquisite pain of root canal, and the agony of Thanksgiving at your mother in law's. Horrors one must endure, but which are usually forgotten (or rather, blacked out) after they're over."
The last thing I wanted to do was go to a bridal shop with Miss Ruhua. Seriously, it is the last thing to do on my list but I had no choice.
Suddenly, Miss Ruhua became a pessismist. She wasn't too sure if the wedding dress would fit her or she would look nice in it. All she ever do since we enter the bridal shop was to keep on whining.
How I wish I could kill her by wrapping the dresses over her head.
Picture the scene: You enter a locker-room sized space, whose walls are lined with individually wrapped, white, glowing creatures, hanging gently in the undulating breeze of the air conditioning. Like Odysseus, the Sirens call to you. They mesmerize you. They enrapture you. And they all look the same.
While Miss. Ruhua was getting her wedding dress on, I heard her horrendous screams, followed by her singing,"Wo de yi ke xin Muack Muack. Sian gei yi ge ren Muack Muack!"
I gasped in horror.
"Wo de yi ke xin Muack Muack! Sian gei yi ge ren Muack Muack!"
"Wo de yi ke xin Muack Muack! Sian gei yi ge ren Muack Muack!"
"Wo de yi ke xin Muack Muack! Sian gei yi ge ren Muack Muack!"
She was singing the same line over and over again. And then I suddenly realize that was the only line she memorized. Her singing had drive all the sales representives and bridal owner crazy.
Me: How are you today, Miss Ruhua?
Miss. Ruhua: Thank you.
Me: ... Eh? Are you excited to try on your wedding gown?
Miss Ruhua: Your welcome.
I pondered and tried asking her another set of questions.
Me: I heard rumours that you are marrying a very young man who is rich and owns a company of his own. Is it true, Miss Ruhua?
Miss Ruhua: "Wo de yi ke xin Muack Muack! Sian gei yi ge ren Muack Muack!"
I was flabbergasted. I got up from my seat and stormed towards the fitting room
And then the curtains withdrew.
I stood there, with my mouth wide open.
Wo de yi ke xin Muack Muack! Sian gei yi ge ren Muack Muack!"
She made a pose...
Signing Off,
Shah Rizal Isaac
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