"You have criteria that are important, and you won't change them," Schwartz says. Even if you're in a committed relationship, you may put too much pressure on your partner to live up to your standards.
Keep it healthy: Let go of the list. Schwartz warns that clinging to those must-haves could mean a chafed relationship or a lonely life. "Ultimately, the important things are companionship, love, a capacity for forgiveness," she says. "Not the stuff that may impress outsiders."
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