Sarah Jessica Parker
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Looking like she just robbed the tackiest Chinese restaurant in Queens, SJP showed up in this tacky terrible dress that was way too on-the-nose. Did she hand out fortune cookies, too? I pity whomever sat behind her and her hat/headpiece/epic mistake.
Allison Williams
If you’ve never seen a petticoat, well, now you have because this is what they look like.
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Usually there is a dress over this, but not for Allison, that rebel. She instead chose to smuggle this contraption out of some Gone With The Wind museum, slap a few pieces of sequins on it and trot on into the Met Gala. I can’t tell which is wider–this dress or her hubris for thinking she could pull it off.
Irina Shayk
I mean, I knew that Irina was probably pretty upset that Cristiano Ronaldo dumped her, but I didn’t know she was this self-destructive…
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Why? Why, Irina? Why this cheap looking color, why the trashy cut outs, why the matchy-matchy shoes, WHY? I bet Bradley Cooper is seriously reconsidering their fling…
Kerry Washington
Here’s a good rule of thumb: Your dress span shouldn’t be bigger than a professional photographer’s wide angle lens. Can someone please tell Kerry that?
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Who styled you, KW, Pepto Bismol? This look is not only unflattering, awkward and much too much, but Kerry looks incredibly uncomfortable in this dress. Where’s a fixer when you need one.
Chloe Sevigny
Remember when she called Jennifer Lawrence crass and then the next week posed naked for a magazine with a lobster covering her vagina? I do. I remember that. And you better believe that I will remember this too, Chloe…
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Diamonds! Chokers! Sapphires! Flapper hair! Chinoiserie! Embroidery! Off-the-shoulder! ENOUGH, CHLOE. Chloe should be so grateful she was even invited that she should’ve chosen an outfit that didn’t shove ten million “trends” into one and give everyone motion sickness.
And now darlings, the worst of the worst….
Beyonce
I take no pleasure in declaring Queen Bey the worst dressed of the night, but then again, I took no pleasure at seeing this fiasco trot down the red carpet. I mean, Jay-Z’s face says it all…
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Great hair, great body, great shame that she felt the need to show just about every inch of her fabulous figure in this too sheer, too trashy prom dress wannabe.
And what is with these poses:
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Beyonce, you look like an ice skater who’s turning tricks to pay for her Olympic dreams. Next time, more class, less ass, s’il vous plait.
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