Overloading; The First Breakdown

For two days I was intoxicated with stress, and fear. I worry too much thus it brings me down, all the way down. I didn't worry about one or two things but I worry about alot of things. No one else except for my baby and Jaishree know what I worry about.

I just want to shout out loud but I can't so hopefully by shouting in a form of typing at my blog will help me to worry less.

Aaaaarrrrrrrrrggggghhhhhh!

I just need to get everything out of my head so I can focus better. I can't believe that I already breakdown at the beginning of the year. But my baby said its a good thing because then I know how to lead my path already.

The only two people that are keeping me saint are Jaishree and my baby. I thanked them for helping me and guiding me.

I am happy that this new year, I learned not to be a fake person. No more fake in me. What you get from me from now onwards are the real thing. They say, 'you get fake friends, you will have fake personality thus you become a fake person.'

I am glad the friends that I have now are real. And I am sealing my friends network already. I am contented with what I have now. I am contented with the friends I have now. I will no longer try to get to know any other tom, dick and harry, sally, cindy and nelly. It's over. Sealed.

My parties are going to be private. I will only invite close friends.

I am side tracking yet again.

I worry too much. I think I am intoxicated with stress.

We are all familiar with the word "stress". Stress is when you are worried about getting laid off your job, or worried about not having enough money to pay your bills, or worried about your mother when the doctor says she may need an operation.

In fact, to most of us, stress is synonymous with worry. If it is something that makes you worry, then it is stress.

Your body, however, has a much broader definition of stress.

TO YOUR BODY, STRESS IS SYNONYMOUS WITH CHANGE.

Anything that causes a change in your life causes stress. It doesn't matter if it is a "good" change, or a "bad" change, they are both stress. When you find your dream apartment and get ready to move, that is stress. If you break your leg, that is stress. Good or bad, if it is a CHANGE in your life, it is stress as far as your body is concerned.

Even IMAGINED CHANGE is stress. (Imagining changes is what we call "worrying".) If you fear that you will not have enough money to pay your rent, that is stress. If you worry that you may get fired, that is stress. If you think that you may receive a promotion at work, that is also stress (even though this would be a good change). Whether the event is good or bad, imagining changes in your life is stressful.

Anything that causes CHANGE IN YOUR DAILY ROUTINE is stressful.

Anything that causes CHANGE IN YOUR BODY HEALTH is stressful.

IMAGINED CHANGES are just as stressful as real changes.

I quarrelled with my mum recently and it brought to a point that she didn't really understand the situation. I tried my best to explain but what came across to her was another point.

But I am happy that things are looking much better now, because I don't want to drag the issue and big things or big problems starts to occur.

To top up with that I lost the most important thing and I didn't know how to handle it.