I am Constantine

Time seems to be travelling faster than its usual rate. I hardly had a chance of really enjoying myself in a day. I suspected it must be the work of a Wiccan who wanted the time to speed up for his own purposes.

Tsk!

I'm afraid if this goes on any further, the next thing we will know is that we are already an old man or woman or maybe we do not exist anymore after a wipe out by a 'falling star', 'Comet' which completely destroyed Earth and any other living things.

So I shall remind you all to have aplenty of sex, get high on drugs and to engage yourself in the seven deadly SINS before that happens so that you can enter Hell with no difficulties.

Have mercy on me as I am just innocently fooling around.

The haze is so bad nowadays that I could smell it even. Fire not only ablazed in Indonesia but also in my own country itself. We do not have to reach out to Hell as it has already approach us with the recent scorching weather.

To make things even worst, I am still coughing my lungs out. My throat sores and it's too painful for me to swallow anything big. Maybe I am dying.

I can see dead people. Minutes ago, they were doing the macerena. Obsessed with the macerena dance, I joined them and danced my way to Hell.

"Oh Macerena! You put your right hand in, you put your right hand out..." But they kicked me out as soon as they realize I was singing the wrong song.

Then I tried to buy myself to Heaven by buying alot of cigars, condoms and drugs but it didn't work. The angels wanted me to do more sinner things before I could enter.

I was thinking what other things could be more sinner than to have aplenty of sex and get high on drugs. Then I was struck with an ingenious plan; to kill everyone whom I know of.

The angels came down again to inform me that I had successfully buy myself to Heaven but the people on Earth wanted me to stay.

Feeling touched and appreciated, I ...

An old lady came running towards me and fondle with my dick.

Hey I did not mean that kind of touch!

... I cried.

A demon suddenly appeared in front of me. "Take me on. One on One."

I got into my fighting position and glared at him. The atmosphere was intensed. I could see the huge bulge on my jeans.

Sounds dicky to me.

I ran towards the demon and took out the most powerful weapon I had in my pocket. I raised my hands and stuffed a 9 inch dildo into the demon's mouth.

I laughed like a hyena.

Apparently the demon seems to be enjoying it.

"You're definitely going to Heaven for that," said Lucifer.

You don't have to remind me about that.

Still, I saw the demon enjoying sucking the dildo.

Signing Off,
Shah Rizal Isaac