Its Over

Everything is over already. I am tired.

I am missing my grandma.

I will be missing my grandma.

I love you grandma.

I will try to move on but still keep you dearly in my heart!

Xiaxue Ranked 2nd

Too Much

First I was hospitalized for three days due to appendix ruptured. Then I was discharged and was at home for a week when abruptly, I had jabbing pain near my right kidney. I vomitted and soon after I couldn't breath and my right abdomen was stiff.

Mum called ambulance as I couldn't move and I landed in the hopsital again.

I was diagnosed with kidney stone.

I was send for operation and they inserted the DJ stent into my genitals. And its still in my body. I will only have it remove next coming Monday or the following Sunday.

After the operation, I was sent back to my ward when I began to feel nauseous. The next day, I started vomitting profusely. Green liquid came out from my mouth.

In the evening, the doctor came and inserted a catheter into my nose and went all the way into my abdomen area. It sucked out about 1.5litres of unwanted substances.

Then the following day I felt pain around my abdomen area. I was sent for MRI scan only to discover there was pus collected around my kidney and liver area.

Within the next 24 hours , I was sent for another operation to remove the pus.

It was like God was punishing me.

After 10 days in hospital, I was finally discharged on my birthday and had hospitalization leaves till the 19th June.

Slowly I recovered.

And now this has to happen.

My grandma lost her balance and fell. Her right hip fractured but she was complaining that her stomach was in pain.

We knew she didn't want to see a doctor or go to the hospital so we respected her decision.

But her condition worsened.

A day later, I urged my mum to send her to the hospital.

The doctor discovered that my grandma's intestine has burst.

Operation was needed.

But the one thing my grandma don't want was to go for operation. Doctor said it was only a 50% chance of recovery and survival.

After serious discussions, we decided to forgo the surgery.

Doctor said my grandma will only have within the next 24 hours to live.

After my work, I rushed to the hospital.

I was happy that I get to see her for one last time.

But it soon was overshadowed with sadness when I saw my grandma took her last breath.

I love you grandma.

I miss you grandma.

Too many things has happenedfor the past week and I felt as if someone or something is trying to harm us.

I shall urge my mum to get a priest soon!

The End; In A Blissful Way

My grandmother has passed away this morning at 5.54a.m.

I thank those who came to visit.

Thank you.

I miss you grandma.

STOP!

Let me remind all of you again;

I do not have IRC installed in my laptop. I have not been visiting IRC for a year plus already.

Whoever that imposter was, please stop it. Its damaging my reputation. Its damaging my blog's reputation.

I don't have IRC in my laptop or computer.

Who you saw online was not me.

Thank to those who notified me.

My dad woke me up at 8 plus in the morning just now to inform me that my grandma will be going for an operation. But the decision lies with me.

My grandma refused to go for the OP. My dad was against it because he thought my grandma is too old. 87!

The doctor said she will recover after being operated but anything can happen in the operating theatre.

For the first time my mum asked for an opinion and my decision will decide everything. For the first time I was feeling stress about making decisions. Instead I was really firm. I wasn't fickle-minded.

To me, grandma can't go for the operation. She is too old. And she doesn't like to go for operations even though she has never went for one before.

I have to respect my grandma's wish. And I know there will be a risk. But this is one risk I am not going to take.

What happen if something goes wrong in the operating theatre? What if she is supposedly to live until the age of 90 but because of the operation, she can only live till today?

I said what if...

I told my mum I was against it.

Finally, my mum agreed and all of us agreed on not letting my grandma to be operated.

Yes, now we have to take care of her and be vigilant.

My grandma will be wheelchair bound but it doesnt matter. What matters is we respect her decision.

Now we have to look for a wheelchair for me.

I hope my decision is the right one.

Unbalance

My honey is out but I have something to voice out. I shan't voice out now via sms because I want my honey to enjoy while out with friends.

I don't mind my baby going out with friends. But sometimes its always going out at night instead of broad daylight.

I am not objecting my honey from metting any friends. But sometimes my honey meeting friends can be at irregular hours.

I trust my baby. This is not a matter of trust.

I know I keep on emphasizing on my blog that I do not have friends. Corrections. I do have friends but the numbers are dwindling.

Ever since I am together withmy honey, I will make it to a point that my plans will either be in the afternoon or evening.

Rarely ever I plan to meet my friends at night till the wee hours.

Maybe twice or thrice.

This is not an issue about fairness.

I do not know how to explain what I am feeling now. This is not an entry to start a quarrel with my baby.

But I simply don't understand why they can't fix appointment on weekends in the afternoon or evening.

Take for example,

When I went out with my friends out till late at night, you kept calling asking what time I will go back and etc.

Same thing that is happening to me now.

Maybe one of these days I should go out with my friends and talk till the wee hours (3 , 4 am) and let my honey have a feel of what I am feeling now.

Sometimes humans have to feel what others feel in order to understand the other party.

Like when I am busy at work, I can't message. My honey messaged me several times but I didn't reply. I did not think of my baby's feelings.

So when my honey was busy at work, I kept on messaging my baby. My baby did not reply me. Then I knew what my baby felt.

Another scenario.

I was sick and hospitalized but nobody knew how I felt; the pain that was suirging in me. They all were bystanders. All they could do was to ask whether I was feeling okay.

Though I was in pain, I tired to hid from them. I didn't want them to worry. I didn't want to be a burden to them.

Now that my grandma is hospitalized. I understand what she is going through. Whenever we asked her if she was feeling alright though we knew she wasn't, she will always reply us that she was fine.

She didn't want to burden us. She don't want to worry us.

Only when the person has been through what the other has went through then he or she will understand.

As for now I don't think my honey understand what I am going through now.

Latest Update

My grandmother fractured her hips.

I am worried. But I hope she will be fine. There's nothing I can do over at my side.

My Grandma Is Sick

My grandma is sick. Since yesterday afternoon, I have been accompanying her vigilantly. I am afraid, very afraid.

I believed she fell and that was what caused her pain which is now radiating to her hand too. She can't move her right leg and her right hand feels pain.

I don't know what I can do.

Its like when I was hospitalized.

I was sick. And I saw the faces of my beloved ones not knowing what to do also. There are not doctors. All they can do; - worry and asked if I was feeling better.

Its the same thing.

My grandmother is experiencing the same thing like me.

And as for me I can only worry. I can't do much right now.

I hope once I sleep and open my eyes later, everything will be alright.

But from the looks of it, things are not looking good.

You see, one thing about me is, I don't pray.

So now I feel helpless because I can't even pray for my grandmother.

Grandmother, you're 87 already. Not many people can live up to that age. You have never been to the doctor. You have never been hospitalized. Grandmother, you are a very strong woman.

Mum, stop worrying. It was not your fault that you asked me to sleep in another room instead of my room yesterday. Maybe its fate.

I hope everything will be alright.

Dear GOD, I may not be a good guy but my grandmother is a good woman. She does not deserve the pain that she is going through right now.

Dear GOD, please help her!

You Yuan De Le Yue Liang

Thank You So Much

I would like to thank all the doctors and nurses for ateending to me promptly when I was hospitalized.

I would like to thank the nurses for wishing me HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

11 nurses or maybe more.

Thank you!

I will remember you guys!

Dealt With Another Blow

I was very tired. I wanted to sleep till late evening. So there I was at home sleeping. My mum who got back from work went to sleep also.

At 3, my mum woke up and I heard her shouting.

I woke up and rushed to find my mother.

She wasn't in her room. I proceeded to my grandma's room and saw my grandma sitting on the cold hard floor.

My mum kept talking to her but her response was limited.

Then, we heard her mutter, "Pain. Pain. Very pain. Leg pain. Stomach pain."

My mum refused to send her to the hospital. I understood.

My grandma has never been to the hospital. She rarely takes medicines.

My mum called our neighbour to assist us. After putting medicated oil on her legs and hands and stomach, my grandma began to act normally back.

I nearly cried.

Right now, I am on the bed, constantly looking at her and making sure that she is alright. I believed she cried because I saw tear droplets on her cheeks.

She wiped them away immediately.

She's crying because she is in pain. But she will never show it out.She is strong, not like me.

Emma Watson Is A Rich Girl

Emma Watson was blissfully ignorant about the size of her bank account until it was handed over to her on her 18th birthday last year.

I almost fainted knowing the amount of money Emma has in her bank. And then I look at my bank account - MISERABLE!

She was only handed her bank account when she was 18.

She has $16 million in her bank!

$16000000 ...!

Eight digits!

Sigh, mine? - Four digits only!

Once hit five digits I will tell you guys, LOL!

Madly Tired

I am so freaking tired!

When I reach home from work, I still have work to do at home. I guess I am a busy man. I have to do sales report, do daily sales report, blog, twitter, watch Bleach. Okay, the last few are forms of entertainment.

My eyes are barely wide open.

I need ample of rest.

Thank god, today is my off day!

I hope it rains. It will be really nice to sleep during the cooling weather.

Did I mention I saw my ex two days ago? I was peeved.

I saw a few detestable people. Hope they rot and die, haha!