Irritating Incidents (NC16 - Vulgarities)

Two of of my friends (the other a close friend of mine) have parents that are undergoing divorce.

Boy, does that ever get annoying! At least one if not both of your parents usually tells all kinds of stories to you about the other parent in a divorce or custody case, and usually they are a bunch of lies. You might wonder why they do this.

I'll tell you, it's because they want you to think that the other parent is bad and they want you to feel sorry for them, and if you feel sorry for them then you will want to spend more time with them and BAM!!!

You successfully fell into their trap. How to be sure that you don't fall in to this trap is that you only go by stories you have experienced. And if one of your parents starts blabbing on about the other parent then just say, 'I don't want to hear about it.'

Sometimes, I feel irritated with my dad as for he would always (okay,maybe not always) blame me for things I never do. And he would always see my sister as his favorite. I remembered three years ago, my sister received a better green packet than me during our festive season.

Frustrated I was. It was four times the amount I received. Sometimes I feel like screaming at him but no, I don't do that.

Do you ever feel like screaming this at your mom or dad? Do you ever want to make your parents do something other than what they are doing (like when you get in trouble?) If so then you may be suffering from a very common illness called momanddaditis, this is when you get so irritated with your parents that it is unbearable.

Just kidding, you are not suffering from any illness at all, in fact it's normal to disagree with your parents sometimes. I'd be worried if you agreed with your parents all the time. Disagreeing with a family member doesn't just happen in families with a divorce case, it is normal with all kinds of families.

If your parents need to chill out because they scream at each other or yell at you, I would not suggest to you to tell them to do so. I would simply go to your room and put some calming music on and try to take a nap or do something quietly for about an hour or so.

After that hour, or when your parent is calm, try to discuss with them your feelings and be understanding of how they feel also. This will result in a much more peaceful, mature conversation.

Enough said, I'm still in a no talking term with my sister yet! She's pesky, really pesky. I mistook one of her shirt as mine. And hey, it's a guy shirt. She bought a guy shirt and she has the cheek to say it's a girl shirt. Come on, look whose talking here!

As if I wanted to wear yours. I have no problem getting as many shirts as I want.

This make me recall an incident.

When I was out shopping with one of my blog readers, Keyis (http://keyis.blogspot.com), the sales assistant ignored us. Fuck him!

I gestured to Keyis that the jacket that we saw was unique and I thought of getting it on the spot or maybe some other day but somehow the price tag wasn't there and the jacket was too big for my size.

I looked around for the sales assistant and there he was ironing some of the hanging shirts. Seconds later, I got his attention but he ignored me outrightly.

I stood in front of him but he walked pass me as if I was invisible.

I tell you, I would have screamed at him if I had to! Fuck him! Arrogant bastard.

But, seriously, not all sales assistants are like that. there's a few kind ones at City Link, Giodarno and a costume shop situated at Bugis Village.

The next day day, I was supposedly to meet my other half at NUS after my job interview at Sentosa.

Upon knowing that the train going to Dhoby Ghaut was about to leave, I rushed. I did a 100meters sprint and heaved a huge sigh of relieve when I made it but something unforeseen happened.

A middle-age man, a middle-age lady and an old lady were blocking my way into getting in the train and the lights were already blinking indicating that the doors were about to close.

I rushed all the way there only to be defeated by three unknowns? No way!

I pushed them aside and hurled them vulgarities and I dashed into the train. The doors closed.

Just kidding!

I went to the other cabin and slipped my way in right before the doors closed. I cursed the three of them not to get onto the train.

Suprisingly, my curse seemed to work well.

Only the man managed to get on the train. He signalled the other two to wait for him at the next station.

Satisfied I was. But soon after, yet another person blocked my way when I was getting onto the East-West Line train.

This guy, this nerdy guy, who was reading his bloody newspaper was blocking my path. Doesn't he understand that he was blocking people's path and moreover, the place was crowded.

That was it! I had enough and I am not kidding about it. I manage to walk pass him and flung my hands to his newspaper and glared at him.

He looked shocked and so were the others on board the train. I had no choice. My anger was building up in me. He bloody fuckingly blocked my path.

I did not really explain to him why I did that or scolded him for blocking my path. I just glared. I was afraid I might hurl insults at him.

I am usually not as barbaric as what I had told you in this entry.

Signing Off,
Shah Rizal Isaac

Beautiful Sight

This is my first time to ever watch fireworks as close as this!

The other time was when I was much younger and I did not had a good view of the fireworks.

I really felt good watching the fireworks brightening up the skies.

Signing Off,
Shah Rizal Isaac

Insanity

When one does not get enough sleep, many things he does are unforgivingly insane.

Look at what I did to the two professional badminton players.

He has a new moustache and beard and wrinkles on his forehead, mole below his nose and eyebags.

And she, we colored her hair. Red suits her. It gives her the fiery look. She has one broken tooth, wrinkles on her forehead and three antennas popping out of her head.

Now that's what I call extreme makeover.

While I was out with Dallas and Zeke, we went to the kid's section and I decided to try on a Winnie the Pooh bag. It's so cute.

But Pooh wasn't too happy about it.

I, on the other hand, tried to act cute.

Pooh, " Let me go you ugly bastard! You stink and moreover, you aren't cute at all! I curse you! I curse your nose to bleed!"


Oh shucks!

Superstitious

Whenever my fringe touches my eyebrows or go below that, I would always believed that I would be cursed or be bombarded with bad luck. I used to think that way but now I don't. Well, maybe just a little.

Somehow it seems true. Let me give you a scenario.

During the period of time when I had long hair, bad luck just came rushing to me. I was scolded by the teachers, scored very low for my tests; not that I did not study for it or I'm stupid. The tests were darn easy but somehow I failed. Impossible, right?

And then when I cut my hair and when it was super short, even the tests that I did not study for, I passed with good grades.

Maybe it's just up to me to believe it or not. It's up to me to make it happen. I don't know.

Last year, I was swarmed with so many bad luck. I had no space to breathe. Then this year, things started to change. I won alot of stuffs from the many competitions I took part. And then came my birthday.

It wasn't planned as according to plan and I had many intensed quarrels with my other half. We nearly broke up, I lost my precious ah di (godbrother) and a friend. Bloody luck I have!

But now, I sensed that something big, something great is going to happen.

Bad luck last year, good luck at the first of half this year, then bad luck again, now, I believe, it's time for good luck to be on my side AGAIN and I wont let it disappear.

Signing Off,
Shah Rizal Isaac

Farting...

Farting is good for health. I always do that and it's like 4 times per minute. And sometimes my friends would gladly join me without hesitations.

But nowadays, it seems that I have been farting non-stop in the middle of the night.

Poot! Poot! Pooooooooooooooooooooot!

Of course, I would restrict myself from farting when I am at the dining table or at public...

Wait a second, I take that back. I did fart in the cinema and lift where it was totally crowded with working people. They freaked out but later, they joined me and thanked me.

I was thinking, for the moment, WHY THE HELL I WROTE ALL THIS?

Poot!

Signing Off,
Shah Rizal Isaac

The Moments; My Godbrother

The moments, those moments with you were wonderful. I remembered the times when we were eccentric and imitating Miss Swan, the tickling, the funny voices we made, the matchmaking sessions we had for Dallas and Roy, the times when I accompanied you to do your homework, the days when I had to pick you up from school.

These were the moments I cannot forget, too hard to forget. These were special moments. I was touched when you stood up for me and you protected me a stranger in the bus who tired to take advantage of me. You consoled me.

But the one thing that I could not figure out was why were you such a pessimist and those malicious insults you hurled on others even though sometimes you were joking. They were truly hurtful.

Till one day, I could stand no longer and I say those few words that changed everything.

One thing, the one thing about you was that you never seem happy.

True happiness is such a rare commodity that the whole of the world is continuously seeking it and failing to find it. All the people, who we consider to be the best in their fields, are seeking it too and failing to acquire it.

The most brilliant of the scientists, the most gifted of artists, the most talented of poets and authors, the wealthiest businessmen, the most powerful rulers, the greatest achievers in any field - all of them have been striving for it all their lives and failed to have it. Why is happiness such an elusive thing? Is it that it cannot simply be achieved? Or is it that it is not where all of us have been looking for it?

Signing Off,
Shah Rizal Isaac

Aaron's Belated Birthday Celebration

2 weeks back...

Since I could not make it to his birthday celebration at his condo, I decided to ask him out and celebrate it with Ashton and I at Cineleisure for movie and Marche for lunch.

I treated him to movie; Batman Begins.

And that is Aaron, who outshined me by wearing a scarf.

I felt under-dressed.

Dallas and Zeke were there too. Sadly, Zeke didn't order any food as he claimed he was not hungry.

I ordered chicken breast, potato wedges, wild mushroom soup and vanilla milkshake but it was a treat from Ashton!

Then we proceeded to Chinatown Plaza to chill out.

I look so stoned!

Kill Your Brain!

Question 1:
A woman is pregnant and already has 8 children, 3 are blind, 2 are deaf, and she has syphilis. Would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Question 2: It is time to elect a new world leader, and your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates:

Candidate A:
* Associates with crooked politicians
* Consults with astrologists
* Has had two mistresses
* Chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day

Candidate B:
* Was kicked out of office twice
* Sleeps until noon
* Used opium in college
* Drinks a quart of whisky every evening

Candidate C:
* He is a decorated war hero
* He's a vegetarian
* Doesn't smoke
* Drinks an occasional beer
* Hasn't had any extramarital affairs

Which of these candidates would be your choice?

Decide first, no peeking, and then scroll down for the answer.

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Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt
Candidate B is Winston Churchill
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler


Oh, by the way, the answer to the abortion question - If you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.

Seoul Garden Treats

A week ago, I decided to treat Dallas and Zeke to Seoul Garden at Ang Mo Kio. Whenever I am darn happy, I will treat people and no, you can't be my friend if you are only looking forward to my treats only.

In total, I had to pay a whopping 75 dollars and realized I'd spent 1/4 of my savings. Boohoohoo! I must stop giving treat to others already or else my money will deplete twice as fast and I have to resort to becoming a gigolo or prostitute. (I'm just kidding).

We kept on taking food to our table that soon we realize there was no more space left.

Initially, I was the one doing the cooking but slowly, Zeke and Dallas took over and I was so elated that all I had to do was eat. I was sure that I was able to finish everything on the plate but soon after, I knew it was highly impossible.

Both of them seemed to be very good at this - cooking. Zeke wanted to become a great chef in the coming future (which I highly doubt so). Wait a minute, I take that back. I don't want to be abuse by him when I meet him.

Dallas began to slow down. He was really full but Zeke forced Dallas and I with more food that he had cooked. I was feeling really bloated. I can't intake any more food or my stomach will burst.

Dallas turned pale! He looked like a ghost.

"I can't take this anymore! I feel like vomitting and farting out loud!" shouted Dallas.

Pooooooooooooooooot!

Before he faint, we savoured our desserts, ice-cream!

Bloated Boy Signing Off...

EsTeler77

A few days ago...

Zeke, Gregory, Daniel, Ashton, Dallas, Roy and I went to EsTeler77 to have our dinner. We decided to forgo eating at the food court at Cineleisure.

If my memory served me correctly, I've been to this place before and it was located at Far East Plaza Level 4. I went there because it was recommended on a food variety show.

I remembered the food wasn't that good. However, during my second visit, my opinion changed.

I only bought the crispy milk bread there. I can't really remember what the bread name was but it was definitely mouth-savoring. It took me only 2 minutes to gobble the whole thing down.

Hungry I was. Haha! I wanted to order more food but then I realized I did not bring out alot of cash with me. I had to settle with that bread only and a happy soda drink.

Ashton wanted to give me a treat but I rejected his offer as I don't really like getting treats from others.

I can't believe the number of people who has fallen in love with my godbrother, Gregory, the one in red. My blog readers, my other half's friends, my friends and my 'sister-in-law'.

Damn it! Why can't I be as good-looking as my godbrother!

Oh yes, that's me alright, trying to act cute.

It's Overdued! I Had Enough!

Oh my god! I feel like screaming my head off. Why are people around me acting so weirdly and having mood swings so often. I can't cope with them anymore. It's killing me mentally slowly.

To Z, you claimed that I was late 3 fucking times and you had to wait for me fucking long. If I could remember vividly you were late on several occasions too. Not that I want to compare who was late many times than the other.

It's no fucking big deal to be late than to be not meeting you at all. And you make a big deal out of it?

I was the one who had to console you when you were upset because of me (technically, sometimes even it was not my fault). I had to wake up in the early morning and fetch you from school despite being tired and lacking of sleep.

I accompanied you to do your homework even though I was extremely busy. I had to give in to you always even though, clearly, sometimes you were in the wrong. You rebutt back when I pointed out your mistakes. You gave negative comments even though when its unnecessary.

I fucking endured all this till today. I could stand it no longer.

I have so many things to write, so many fucking things to say to defend myself but then I realize I should not even bother. Those people (my friends) who crosses my line will be automatically shut out from my life forever.

I'm writing in my not-so-perfect state of mind. I feel so barbaric.

Pissed,
Shah Rizal Isaac

Noises

God, save me! I can't stand these noises anymore! Every morning! Every bloody morning, I would be awaken by these tractors!





Signing off,
Shah Rizal Isaac

Miss Swan (Update With Pictures)



Bunny Swan, more commonly known as "Miss Swan," was a recurring character from the American television program MADtv. The character was portrayed by actress Alex Borstein and appeared on the show until Borstein's departure.

She is arguably the most well-known character from the program. She began as little more than a character based on stereotype: she is an older Korean woman who worked as a manicurist and owned "Gorgeous Pretty Beauty Nail Salon". The comic situations she would get into usually arose from her inability to communicate with others due to a language barrier.

Eventually the other character in the scene would become fed up with her and storm off in a rage. Early on her catch phrase "Oh, okay, I tell you everything: he look-a like-a man!" would catch on, stemming from a sketch in which she was unable to identify a thief because of her inability to describe him.

As the sketches progressed Miss Swan would be put into more absurd situations and locations (such as a drag queen club) and it became increasingly established that she was intentionally agitating those with whom she interacted. It was revealed that she spoke perfect English and simply found it entertaining to pretend to be an idiot or culturally challenged, which was a new source of comedy for the bits.

Miss Swan would also make a cameo appearance on an episode of Family Guy, which Alex Borstein is also a cast member of.



Dallas who I potentially think could be the next Miss Swan.

If you want to know how Miss Swan's acting skills are like, p.m me in MSN @ shahrizal85@hotmail.com

Signing Off,
Shah Rizal Isaac

A Deadline

I could remember vividly what I dreamt. When I woke up, I felt petrified. I was almost engulfed with fear. The dream was like a hint and there was even a deadline - 14 days.

I was being warned by an old woman in a black hooded dress that if I do not ensure that the tasks are being completed, tragedy will befall, not on me but my friends.

Of course, you might say, it will not happen as it is only a dream but I beg to differ. Several times I dreamt, it came true. This time it's not an exception. Weird I am you may think but that's how things will be.

I was walking on the busy streets of Orchard Road with my friends, Dallas, Roy, Zeke, Gregory and Ashton. We were busily chatting away while walking to our destination.

However, I paused when I saw an old lady staring at me. She wore a black hooded dress. I looked at her in puzzlement as to why she was wearing something like that in this sunny weather.

Somehow, I felt as if she was coming near to me but she was not even moving. Weird it was. Abruptly, time seemed to stood still. I became jumpy when I saw the old woman standing beside me.

She grabbed my hands and had a grip like a vice. I shouted but nothing came out from my mouth.

Then, she came closer to my face and whisperered, "Help Dallas..."

I looked at her in puzzlement.

She repeated, "Help Dallas to fall in love in 14 days or something bad will happen to him."

And then she told me the consequences of what might happen to him if he does not fall in love withing the next 14 days.

Pondering Soul,
Shah Rizal Isaac

Ayumi Hamasaki - STEP you

For those of you who bought Ayumi Hamasaki's latest single, STEP you and wondering what the beautiful song actually means, then ponder no more.

Her video for STEP you is done wonderfully by Avex Trax. They potrayed the different sides of Ayumi; the elegant, the gothic, the cutesy and the wild. And it is the top choice for MTV.

Talking about nothing at all,
We acted in a moment and displayed our habits.
Though I don't have to remind myself not to forget,
From somewhere within me, fully...
wow oh oh oh oh no no no no
I remember YOU and ME

SO 1.2.3.4, one by one
1.2 STEP you, in this way
I want to know you well

SO 1.2.3.4, one by one
1.2. STEP you, in this way
No one can stop me now

wow wow so wow wow
oh wow wow so wow wow

1.2.3.4 YOU and ME?

"Where are you, what are you doing around this time?"
Right after I thought such things,
Even for just a moment,
I wanted you to remember me.
wow oh oh oh oh no no no no
I wished for YOU and ME

SO 1.2.3.4, for a while
1.2 STEP you, sometime soon
I am becoming greedy

1.2.3.4, for a while
1.2 STEP you, sometime soon
Will I begin to want only your smile?

wow wow so wow wow
oh wow wow so wow wow

The gap between idealism and reality
Is so very cutting
And as we cannot cut them off, they are opening up.
oh yeah yeah yeah

In this place, will we give up?
Or will we persevere and do our very best?
oh yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah

SO 1.2.3.4 YOU and ME?

SO 1.2.3.4, one by one
1.2 STEP you, in this way
I want to know you well

SO 1.2.3.4, one by one
1.2. STEP you, in this way
No one can stop me now

SO 1.2.3.4, for a while
1.2 STEP you, sometime soon
I am becoming greedy

1.2.3.4, for a while
1.2 STEP you, sometime soon
Will I begin to want only your smile?

wow wow so wow wow
oh wow wow so wow wow
wow wow so wow wow
oh wow wow so wow wow

1.2.3.4 YOU and ME?


I am so mesmerized by Ayumi Hamasaki! She's one of a kind, I must say.