Interview With Miss. Ruhua

Let's put aside all seriousness for once. Today, I had a chance of interviewing Miss. Ruhua from Jacky Cheung's show which is aired on every Sunday at 9p.m at channel 8.

If you are not sure of who I am talking about, fret not! You will get to see her in minutes time. It is a very rare opportunity and it will be your bad if you missed this interview.

Enough talk and let's get on with the show.

I sat anxiously at the odd looking red color sofa, sipping my cup of coffee while waiting for Miss. Ruhua. I waited for more than 20 minutes but yet there was still no sign of her.

I was getting impatient.

Abruptly, the door opened and there stood a lady dressed in tee-shirt and track pants. I wore my glasses to get a clearer look and there she was, Miss. Ruhua.

She approached me with tiny steps. Slowly but catiously as she was wearing high heels. To think of it, her dressing did not really match her shoes. But who cares as long she did not keep me waiting for another 20 minutes.

Miss Ruhua waved at me. And I waved back.

Before the interview starts, I requested to take a photo of her and she agreed. To my blog readers who still are clueless of who she might be, wait no further as I show you her photo.



And the truth finally came to light. the picture above is Miss. Ruhua.

She sat next to me, crossing her legs and sipping on my coffee. "YUMMY! nice coffee you have there," she said. "Must be the combination of sugar and coffee and your saliva. I love it."

I looked at her, shocked. Then I proceeded to take my notepad out of my pouch and flipped the pages till I reach an empty page. "We can begin the interview now, Miss Ruhua." I gestured.

She nodded her head frantically and violently as if her head was falling from her body.

Isaac: What do you think of yourself, Miss Ruhua?

Miss Ruhua: Don't be so formal la! Just call me Ruhua can liao. Oh, what I think about myself ah? I think I am very pretty. You see me on television, I look a little ugly but if you meet me outside, you will go like, "WOAH! Is that Miss. Ruhua? She look so pretty!" I was very flattered.

Isaac: And.. I..

Before I could proceed to the next question, she was not yet finish with hers.

Miss Ruhua: Some people say I look like Jennifer Lopez. Some people say I look like Britney Spears. Very flattering hor? I told them I'm just a plain jane but once, an uncle (Chi ko pek) approached me and say I'm hot! Sizzling hot!

Isaac: ...

Miss Ruhua: And then he started to grab my breast and play with it. I feel shioked ah! I told him to stop but he refused. Then came his wife. I thought she would slap me but that did not happen. You want to know what happen, honey?

Isaac: *Hesitated* Sure...

Miss Ruhua: She said, "Wah Miss Ruhua! - My Idol! Why you so pretty? I want to become like you!" I was happy to hear her compliments. Too happy that I decided to share my beauty tips with her.

Isaac: So what's your beauty tips for women out there? How did you manage to look like that.

Miss Ruhua: Aiyah! Very simple one! Every day you must put alot alot of make-up.Then you will look pretty lor. You want me to put some on your face?

Isaac: No thanks! I'm happy with the way I look.

Miss Ruhua: So you think I am not happy with my looks? Well, excuse me!



Miss Ruhua: Do you know how much trouble I take to achieve this beautiful hairdo?!

Isaac: Well... No.

Miss Ruhua: Well, first of all, I smear a complete set of mis-matched makeup onto my face before stuffing my entire head into a pantyhose!



Miss Ruhua: Once I remove it...



TA-DAH!

Miss Ruhua: Don't you think it's absolutely fabulous? Here, why don't we give it a try on you? Think of it, a wonderful makeover by the one and only Ruhua!

Isaac: No, no, I'm a guy! I don't need makeup or a makeover!

Miss Ruhua: Nonsense! Even guys need to look pretty sometimes! Come on, you know you want it!

Isaac: Noooooooooo!

Miss Ruhua proceeds to force me into an awfully uncomfortable (fake) leather chair equipped with handcuffs and legcuffs.

Isaac: I refuse!

But Miss Ruhua proved to be too strong and cheerfully begun her ungodly experiment. She begins by applying eyeliner onto my eye lids, tracing thick lipstick all over my lips and cheeks and scratching her armpits. Soon, I realised that I was beginning to look like Ronald McDonald.



He was a horrible man, and was arrested a few years back.



"What for?" You might ask. Well, children, raping women was never a good thing to do, especially in public!



Miss Ruhua: It's done!

I looked at a mirror. As it shattered into pieces, I ran out of the room, hollering at the top of my voice with people whispering to themselves.

Miss Ruhua: A job jolly well done!

Isaac is currently withheld within a mental institution with his mental status marked as: DO NOT SHOW PATIENT MAKE UP OR ANY OTHER VARIOUS COSMETICS. His other half still visits him on a regular basis.

As for Miss Ruhua, she is back in her salon with no charges.