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Monday, May 11, 2015

Australia Next Top Model Cycle 9

THAT smell is in the air again.
The smell of hopes, dreams, angry walks and far, far fewer carbs than you or I are normally used to.
Australia’s Next Top Model is almost on our screens again.
I’m not going to sugar-coat it: I have watched every single episode of Australia’s Next Top Model that has ever been made. It is the finest, most diabolically glamorous comedy program this country has ever produced. Four hosts. Eight series. Twelve thousand Alex Perry/Charlotte Dawson insult battles. I’d go so far as to say I could probably pick the winner of this new series with close to twenty per cent accuracy.


But the winner is only a tiny part of this show, especially on the scales. The real winner is the journey. And the real runner-up is the criminal overuse of the word ‘journey’.
So fed from my own journey, these are my predictions for this, Series Nine, or for any models reading: Series Upside-Down Six.
A Disappointing Lack Of Judging-Desk Zingers
The aforementioned Perry/Dawson back-and-forth was a delicious staple of five series, and simply cannot be replicated. While I’m certain the gobsmacking stream of celebrity guest judges in this new series will bring something new, the legendary Charlotte’s absence will leave a massive hole. We’ll miss you, Daws.

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