i've always been the strong person. i've always been the one taking care of others. i've always been the one making people happy. i'm a happy person. i'm someone who loves to crack jokes. i thought i was strong enough but i realized i am not. for the past week, it's been dreadful for me. so, so dreadful. i was not a happy person though i had to keep a brave front from everyone. until i break down again and again and again. my friends had to pull me back up everytime that happens. i've never been this sad in my life before. well, maybe when my late grandmother died and maybe when i broke up with my ex whom i had relationship for almost 3 years. and now i am sad again. devastated. i always keep telling myself, my life is like a storybook or should i say novel. with plots and twisted endings. or like a drama serial. has season 1 ended, i asked. with a sad ending. but it depends on how you play the ending out. i wanted to choose a happier ending. but it ended up being otherwise. i'm feeling scared. i'm feeling hurt. but that's enough. it's been a week and a half i'm feeling like i'm in the dumps. no one that were not close to me knew i was unhappy. because i was trying to look happy in front of them. hard it is. but that's life. i thought of ways to make myself happy again but everytime i am in an empty room, sadness lingers in me. my friends tried to help me. i felt better but i still feel hurt. i have to move on. but what's stopping me. is this really the end, i asked myself. i tried every other methods to get rid of this emptiness and sadness in me but all else fails. then i realized, maybe, just maybe, i will just write my feelings down on my blog like writing a dear diary. and it seems to be helping. because i love to write. i love to pen down my emotions. i've not been doing that for the longest time. it's all photos and photos and photos on my blog. but i need to write something down. something more than just uploading photos. i guess this is the end of a season or a chapter. one of my good friends told me, let go, set it free, and let nature takes its course. and if you are really meant for each other, you'll come back to each other's arms again. i'm mad at myself for what has happened. but it's been done. it's over. now... move on.
